Uncertainty Archives - Page 4 of 7 - Tabetha’s Devotions

February 19, 2018

Sit Back and Watch

Philippians 4:6-7
⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

In one of my devotions this morning, I was reading about not worrying and learning to trust God with all your problems. I loved it when the author said to tell him your problem with trusting and thanksgiving, then watch him supply your need.

Then watch him supply your need…

I pondered these words for a few minutes and two things came to mind right away.

First, just like Elsa, we need to Let it Go! I am not saying stop praying, but stop worrying. You have turned it over to the only one that has total control over the situation. Let him do his thing. Often when something is eating at me, I have to turn to verse seven. I lay claim to that peace which transcends all understanding. I have to tell Satan (and myself) I have already prayed about this and it is out of my hands and now I am going to rely on God’s peace!

Second, (I chuckle at this one because it sounds so like me) when we make our problems known to God it doesn’t say, give him your suggestions for solutions. It says to make your requests known.

Maybe that is why he tags on verse seven, hoping if we relax in his peace we will Let it Go and Let God.

God never promised us life without problems. He promised to walk through life with all of its problems right beside us. Troubles will come our way. Anxieties and worries will strain our very last bit of hope and faith. However, we can take all of our problems to God and be assured he will send you peace while you sit back and wait for him to supply your need in his own way and his own time.

January 15, 2018

Don’t Be A Small Actor on the Stage of Life

Mark 12:41-44
The Widow’s Offering

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.

“Man we are scraping the bottom of the barrel!” Meaning we have no more! This is all we have to work with and this is it!

I have been in situations where I didn’t even have the barrel! I mean peanut butter and jelly was a luxury. I have stood in this widow’s shoes!

I can almost hear her thoughts right now…

Lord, the rent is do tomorrow.

My cupboards are bare and I really need to go to the market.

The oil is low, I won’t be able to heat my home or light the lamps.

But Lord, I have you. These two coins aren’t mine. They belong to you. You will provide all my needs.

Her actions were about so much more than money. They were about how large her faith, hope, and dedication to Christ was compared to the others. It is about how important the “little” things are when done for Christ.

These rich men gave what was needed. They showed up did what was expected of them and went on their merry little way. Their week ahead was not changed in any way. They were the “Sunday Morning” Christian.

God, I will give you what is expected. No more! No Less! I will put forth enough faith and hope to say I believe in you, but the rest of my life is my own.

The widow, on the other hand, puts all her faith and hope in God that day. She had no idea what laid ahead of her that week. She knew there were bills to pay, obligations to be met. She knew she would have no other way of surviving other than put all she had in Him.

Which spiritual coin purse are you working from? Do you give just wanted is expected of you to make it all look good? Or do you, like the widow, go all in? Do you bring to the table everything you have and put all of it in the hands of God?

There are no large or small jobs in the sight of God. There is only large or small faith in everything you do.

January 10, 2018

Who Cares?!?!

Psalms 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

January is a rotten time of year. Every commercial seems to scream “You are fat!” I don’t care if you are watching TV, scrolling social media, reading your email or picking up a magazine. You are bombarded with this message.

Then there are all the other messages that tell you are unorganized, lazy, or totally in debt.

I am not saying some of these things aren’t true, but there is one huge problem with all of these messages. They start you down a road of COMPARING!

I am convinced comparing is the go-to weapon of choice for the enemy. If he can open that door even a smidge, he gets you hooked. Your mind starts down a trail that is so hard to turn away from.

You try the first exit and it leads you to depression and despair because you don’t measure up. The next exit has you all holier than thou because at least you are not as bad as that person. No matter where you turn your focus remains on one thing…YOU!

Let’s get to the truth right now. You start worrying about what everyone else around you thinks. You are afraid people are not going to like you and think you aren’t good enough.

How do I know this? Because I have worn out way too many pairs of shoes on that journey. Can I tell you something I am trying to remember?

Who cares!?!?

I don’t care if I ever look like those rich, skinny women, with the perfectly organized house and thousands of followers on Pinterest. If God wanted me to be them he would have made me them. God made me the way he wanted me with my own unique qualities and talents. I need to be more aware of what he thinks of me.

You know what he thinks of you? He loves you right where you are now.

He doesn’t care if you fit into a bikini. You are perfect to him.

He doesn’t care if your home looks like the cover of a magazine. You are perfect to him.

He doesn’t care if you have organized your entire life on the most beautiful planner money can buy. You are perfect to him.

There is no need to be afraid of what everyone else thinks because the Lord is ou light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of our life — of whom shall I be afraid?

Let’s not wear out another pair of shoes trying to compare our lives to someone else. Instead, let’s skip down the road of life together enjoying what we have and who we are.

January 8, 2018

I Am Not A Failure

Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Something going wrong is not a failure. Not trying again is a failure!

This is not easy for me to admit, but last semester I did not pass my cumulative exam for my doctorate degree. I had three weeks to write two papers and both of my papers fell short. I must pass this exam to go on to my dissertation. Once I pass it, I will have achieved my doctorate all but dissertation. I was so frustrated and upset; I did not retake the exam until this semester. I had failed!

Or so I thought.

I had that option of retaking it last semester, but I couldn’t. I needed to put some time and space between me and those papers. I needed a break. Mind you, I finished my Bachelor’s degree waited two years started my Master’s and then went directly to my Doctorate right after that. I have not had a break from classes in almost six years. I was burnt out and the added frustration of not passing just sent me into a tailspin.

During this break, I have tried my best to not think about my “failure”. However, this past week has had me sweating bullets again. What if I fail again? What if I never pass it? I was so sure I was going to be a failure.

Today was fresh and new. I opened the exam and took a new look at the papers I had written. Things were a little clearer and the comments from last semester actually made sense now. However, I still felt like a failure and was not so sure I could do any better this time.

Then two friends stepped up to pass on some advice.

One went to the bible and brought out the verse above. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” What I gleaned from that verse was quit being a fraidy cat and get to work on those papers.

Pass or pass not, God will be with me. Tomorrow will come. The sun will rise. Life will go on.

My other friend proceeded to tell me you only fail when you quit trying. I am not a failure.

I did not fail my exam. Yes, I did not pass. The papers were lacking. What I did not see was all the things I did right on the papers. I had lots of great comments. The professors said it was obvious I was knowledgable about the subject. I had great ideas. One of the papers, I just needed to add more and put more of me and my analysis into it, not just the facts. The other paper, I need to connect my data to my recommendation. They were both awesome, I just needed to connect them better.

Today, I am going to choose to be strong and courageous and carry on. I am not a failure. I have not given up trying. I just figured out how not to pass. Now it is time to find what works!

December 11, 2017

Who is driving the bus?

Psalms 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

I went to a new doctor today. After many years of seeing the same doctor, I had gotten quite comfortable with myself. My doctor was a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, he had to move his practice far enough away that I was no longer able to see him.

I have known about this move for six months. I have been on this new doctor’s list for about 4 months or so, but I had not gone in to see him. I hate meeting new doctors.

Now, I do realize no one likes to go to the doctors. I mean we don’t usually wake up and say…gee I wonder what my doctor is doing today. I think I should make an appointment to see him.

However, I HATE going to the doctor’s office and I REALLY HATE seeing a new doctor!!!!!!

I have quite a few issues. If you have read my older blogs you know one of them is seizures. I have not seen a neurologist in over 10 years because I gave up on them. So, I really hate discussing that problem, but I was expecting it. I also have two types of arthritis, asthma and Crohn’s disease. Again, I don’t like going over my history and what I am currently doing about them, but I was expecting it.

What I wasn’t expecting to discuss, my PTSD.

Before you ask, no my PTSD is not combat PTSD. I was not in the military. I wish my doctor would have asked that and just left it there. But NO! He wants to dive into what trauma in my life could have caused my PTSD.

Here is my theory on PTSD. It is kind of like Fight Club (movie reference). The first rule about Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club! Yep! That sums up my feeling on my PTSD! Unfortunately, this new doctor did not agree.

***INSERT MELTDOWN HERE***

Now you would think someone who is writing her dissertation on PTSD was comfortable with her own fight. Well, most of the time I am. Unfortunately, the nature of PTSD does not leave you in control. You do not get to pick and choose how you will feel or respond. I have spoken in front of people before concerning my PTSD. Today, however, was just a day that PTSD was driving the bus and it was racing out of control very quickly!

Flashbacks flooded my head. I was crying the entire way home. None of my mind techniques would work. My service dog clung to me to try and make me feel safe and distract my mind.

I would love to tell you my first thoughts were some beautifully worded prayer that would tickle the ear of any Christian.

Nope!

I screamed at God! I screamed, “Why?”

I screamed, “How could you?”

I screamed, “Where are you?”

I screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS!!!!”

What did I hear back? The Holy Spirit brought to my mind Psalms 29:11. He said I am giving you strength because you are mine. I am blessing you with peace. Accept it. Sit back and let me take control of the bus!

My heart stopped racing. My anger subsided. Reality began to return.

Thank you, Lord, for your strength and peace. You were with during the trauma. You held my hand and screamed and cried with me. You still hold my hand as you fill me with your strength and peace.

My voice has been heard by many young men and women. My story has been shared before. I have been the voice of the voiceless. I wish I would not have gone through my trauma, but I am glad that I survived. For if my journey can save even one person from giving in to the darkness, then I would gladly do it all over again.

November 29, 2017

When in Doubt…Phone a Friend!

Psalm 37:30-31
30 The godly offer good counsel;
they teach right from wrong.
31 They have made God’s law their own,
so they will never slip from his path.

Do you remember the game show, Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

A player was asked a series of multiple-choice questions of increasing (or, in some cases, random) difficulty. Large cash prizes were offered for correctly answering each level. There were three lifelines you could use if you got stuck on a question: 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend.

Today, I found myself stuck at one of those questions in life that I could not answer. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got.

Now, I know as a Christians we are called to go right to the source, pray and read the bible to find your answer. However, sometimes I just need that human contact. I need to be able to phone a friend.

God was prepared for that! I have been blessed with a group of friends I can call when I need them. They provide Godly counsel.

My phone a friend was not only able to talk me off the ledge today, but gave me a new perspective. I was able to see my situation from different viewpoints.

I pray that you have Godly counsel and if not I will continue to pray that God brings someone into your life. I will also pray you will fill those shoes for someone else.

So keep those phone lines open! I just might need to phone a friend.

November 8, 2017

Learn to Fly!

2 Timothy 4:18
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

I am reading Anxious For Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World, by Max Lucado. In his book, he talks about an acrobatic team. The flyer explains how the key to their success is remembering he is a flyer and his partner is the catcher. His job is just to jump and let his partner do all the catching. It is dangerous for him to try and catch his catcher when he jumps. It simply is not his job!

Max goes on to compare that to our relationship with God. We have to put our full trust in him. Let God do his job! “Your Father has never dropped anyone. He will not drop you. His grip is sturdy and his hands are open.” It is not our job to control things. we must let go and Let God! As Max puts it, a wonderful thing happens when we let go and let God, we FLY!

Paul went through some pretty horrific moments in his lifetime. If anyone deserved to have fear and trepidation in their walk with God, I am saying Paul had reasons. However, Paul never questioned any of the positions he was left in. Not when he was stoned, ran out of town, or thrown in prison several times. Instead, he went out of his way to encourage Timothy and the church by saying,

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (2 Timothey 4:18)

Wow! Can you sit back and let that sink in for just a moment? I mean really let that sink in! No matter what we are facing in our lives, God is there. No job, God is there. Cancer, God is there. Divorce, God is there. He will rescue you from every evil attack and will bring you safely to his heavenly kingdom.

What does that rescue look like? I don’t know.

How long will it take? I don’t know.

What I do know is he has promised to catch me. All I have to do is Fly!

November 1, 2017

Hang on! Call on! Move on!

First I would like to apologize for not blogging the past couple of days. I have been battling the stomach flu.

It is amazing just how horrible you can feel from a little itty bitty microscopic thing! This dude can bring you to your knees in a matter of minutes! I am not ashamed to say I found myself in the fetal position praying God heal me or take me now, don’t leave me like this!

I was physically in pain, but have you ever been in so much emotional pain that you felt this way. Well, I know a couple of guys in the bible that did!

Jonah was:

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
–Jonah 4:5-11

Elijah also had his issues:

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the Gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die.

“I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”

1 Kings 19:1-4

If these two great prophets can have issues that make them feel overwhelmed and distressed why don’t we think it is OK for us to feel that way sometimes too?

We are all going to go through periods of our lives that seem like too much to carry. The important thing is to hang on, call on and move on.

Hang on…James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Call on…Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Move on…Philippians 3:14 I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus.

Don’t give up! Never Surrender! Simply Hang on, Call on and Move on!

October 23, 2017

My Very Cold Cup of Coffee

Luke 10:38-42 (TLB)

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem[a] they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. 39 Her sister Mary sat on the floor, listening to Jesus as he talked.

40 But Martha was the jittery type and was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing.

She came to Jesus and said, “Sir, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

41 But the Lord said to her, “Martha, dear friend, you are so upset over all these details! 42 There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it—and I won’t take it away from her!”

First, I want to apologize for not blogging on Friday. I had a jam-packed day and honestly did not even remember until I was falling into bed at 1:30 Saturday morning.

That brings me to today…I have felt like I have been chasing myself all day long and I am a quick little sucker! I have been at least 10 steps behind the entire time. I would just feel like I was making ground and BOOM! There I go taking off again into twenty different directions.

My day started at 6:00 am. It is 2:50 in the afternoon and I just sat down to take a breath and enjoy my now very cold cup of coffee. However, I can finally see my desk. My emails have been answered. Copies are made and lesson plans are done. Whew!

I think I know how Martha felt. I have been that jittery type all day long fretting over all the details of my day. I unfortunatly also know how Martha felt. I did not take time this morning to just spend time with God. I rushed through my morning and didn’t even say good morning God.

I wonder if I had been a little more like Mary at the beginning of my day, I wouldn’t have ended up like Martha the rest of it. I am pretty sure my to-do list would not have gotten any smaller or magically disappeared. But maybe, just maybe, I would have caught up with myself and wouldn’t have felt so jittery. Maybe I wouldn’t be “enjoying” my very cold cup of coffee right now.

October 16, 2017

In the Darkest Hour, There is Still Hope in the Light

Micah 7:7-8
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.

I do not want to blog today
My day has been so long
I don’t know what to say today
Everything seems so wrong

My anxiety is running high today
My energy is running low
I sit here in the darkness today
I‘ve no where else to go

I will wait right here for you today
My hope in you is strong
The light will come back today
I hope my waits not long

I really did not want to blog today, but God reminded me of why I started blogging in the first place. I wanted to be real with people. Being real doesn’t only happen when the sky is filled with rainbows and unicorns. No, it is also on the days where I feel surround by complete darkness.

Today I am in a bad place, but I am OK. I am learning to follow Micah 7:7-8. I will sit and watch and wait for the Lord. I have hope my God will hear me. Don’t count me out yet, my friends. Satan has not won. I will rise. The Lord will light my way.

Tag: Uncertainty

Sit Back and Watch

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Don’t Be A Small Actor on the Stage of Life

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Who Cares?!?!

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I Am Not A Failure

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Who is driving the bus?

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When in Doubt…Phone a Friend!

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Learn to Fly!

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Hang on! Call on! Move on!

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My Very Cold Cup of Coffee

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In the Darkest Hour, There is Still Hope in the Light

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