Tag: Uncertainty

Posted on

No Sell-By-Date

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

One of my favorite author’s is Sheila Walsh.  In her book, In the Middle of the Mess she says,  “I believe it’s possible to be healed and to fall again and again. Grace doesn’t come with a sell-by date.”

I chuckle every time I read that. Grace Doesn’t Come With a Sell-By-Date!

I want to run around screaming AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

We are not perfect! Even as Christians we make mistakes! We are going to make mistakes.  We are works in progress. Don’t believe me, read Philippians 1:6 again.  It says God has begun a good work in me and is continuing to work in me until He is finally finished.  When will He be finished? When Christ Jesus returns!  

Tabetha translation: I am trying my best to do the best I can with what I have.  I will make mistakes.  I will own up to those mistakes.  I will fall down.  I will get up again. I will keep tying.  I AM HUMAN! 

The quicker we can all except that fact, the quicker we can move on to every one around us is also human.  They will also make mistakes. The quicker we will learn to live together and work together.

I recently read a sign that said instead of gossiping about someone put them on your prayer list. Extend them some of that no expiration date GRACE! The good LORD knows you and I are certainly going to need some.

We may be spoiled by Grace, but thank you LORD that Grace never spoils!

C1A9D112-04EC-421A-868A-2223F83835C9

 

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Save Me from My Darkness

Romans 10:13 HCSB
For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. 

PTSD throws me back to the times and places of my attacks.  Not only do I feel emotionally and physically everything around me, I also hear everything that was happening then.  I smell everything just like it was. I can even taste the moment.  Everything in the here and now melts away and I am thrown back into that exact moment over and over again. I relive it like a nightmare that will not end.

As I sit in my pit of despair, when my PTSD has sent me over the edge and all I see is darkness all around, the old demons come back.  I can hear the laughter and hissing all around. I feel the inky darkness of evil overtaking me. Thoughts of self mutilation and even suicide become a familiar tune.

I have admitted these feelings to few people.  Only a couple of people in my life truly understand and have even walked these pathways too. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I have put these thoughts in writing.  My poetry is often dark and obscure, but I have never out and out talked about self mutilation and suicide.

I have done lots of research and ready many books on PTSD, as well as other mental disorders. For years my doctors thought I was bipolar. It took one doctor to finally look at me and hear my story to realize it was actually PTSD.

Recently, I picked up another book from an author not only spoke to me, but seemed to be walking right beside me. In the Middle of the Mess is Sheila Walsh’s story of her own fight with depression, including suicidal thoughts.

In one part of the book she was describing a particular night where she was fighting the darkness all around her.  Her experience was very similar to the one I described above.  She remembers calling out Romans 10:13

“I called that verse out loud and I believed it. I called on His name and believed Him. I had been saved from hell and into eternity ever since, as an eleven-year-old girl, I accepted Jesus as my Savior. But that night I needed saving in the present, and I knew it. It wasn’t that I needed to become a Christian again; instead, I needed the power of the living Word of God to save me from the present tormentors.”

I have been saved since I was seven years old.  I am a Pastor’s wife and have been in church all my life.  I have heard or read that verse millions of times, but never like this.  I have always read it as part of the salvation road or Roman’s Road as we always called it.  I never looked at it in present tense.  I called out and the LORD saved me.

In the middle of my darkest times, I call out and the LORD saves me.

I don’t know what you are going through right now or what you may be facing tomorrow.  I do know that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.  This does not just mean salvation from your sins when you become a Christian.  You will be saved from your circumstances. I don’t know how. I don’t know when, but I know the LORD will save you! So hang in and repeat this with me and keep repeating it until you believe it!

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13

CAAEB604-BA9F-4FA3-9420-07A14B2F39EF

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

You Are Guac!

Psalms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I recently read a story about a speaker who stepped out on stage and pulled a $100 bill out of his pocket.  He asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Hands shot up all over.

He then took the bill and crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, stomped on it and got it all dirty and nasty.  Once again, he asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Again, the same hands shot up all over the place.

The speaker when on to explain this is why God still wants you! It doesn’t matter how beat up, tore up, dirty or crumpled you are, He still sees your worth! Just like no matter what is done to that $100 bill, nothing changes its worth. Nothing will ever change our worth to God!

If someone hasn’t told you today, you should know you are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made and God makes WONDERFUL things. I guarantee in God’s eyes you are the guacamole NOT the salsa!

FFF2ED23-4867-4DF5-8617-FD060D5B6F4D

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Hold My Hand

Isaiah 41:13
I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

I am not one to repost someone else’s blog, but I was struggling all day with exactly what to say and how to say it.  I knew what I wanted to talk about today, but the words just were not coming together.

Then I sat down to check my email and here was a blog from Jill Savage expressing just what I was feeling. I couldn’t say it any better, so I decided to pass it on.

The nurse walked into my room and said, “Jill it’s time to go. You’ll need to leave your glasses here.” Mark prayed for me, gave me a kiss and then waved as the nurse wheeled me out of my room towards my lumpectomy surgery. Without my glasses I can’t see much so the feeling of being disoriented seemed to heighten the emotion of the moment.

That’s when the words of Isaiah 41:13 flooded into my mind. “I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

God settled my heart with just a few words…just a few of HIS words, that is.

My surgeon prays for her patients before surgery. She had no idea the implication it had for me when she stopped in the presurgical area, held my RIGHT hand, and prayed for me.  Coincidence?  I think not.

This verse stuck with me through all my dark seasons: my husband’s infidelity, my breast cancer diagnosis, our adopted son’s mental illness and suicide attempts.

Today I’m prompted to share it with you because if you don’t need it today, you will need at some point in time. Real life is messy.  We need God’s word to anchor our soul when the waves of real life seem to be tossing us around.

Whatever you’re facing today…He’s holding your hand.

The post He’s Holding Your Hand appeared first on Jill Savage.

 

Posted on

Wait Like an Eagle!

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I remember growing up in what you would call a small country church.  One of my favorite songs we would sing was based on Isaiah 41:31

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. 
They shall mount up with wings as eagles. 
They shall run and not grow weary. 
They shall walk and not faint. 
Teach me Lord, 
Teach Lord to wait.

For those of you who may not know, I am excellent at waiting. NOT! NO WAY! NO HOW!

So, why in the world would I ever love to sing this hymn?

To be honest, it is because of my mom.  This has always been one of her favorite verses and she always loved singing it. She always managed to remind me of it when I wasn’t being so patient. 

A few years ago, when we were marathon training we would bring this verse up to each other when we were feeling a little low on energy. Even as I ran the marathon that year, I kept humming and singing that song over and over to keep me going.

My biggest problem with waiting is I feel powerless when I am in the middle of something. I have to do something to get started.  I have to do something to finish up a project.  In the middle, not so much to do. I just have to wait. 

And when I wait, my mind starts to wonder and come up with all kinds of problems. I play the “what if” games or “I should have”. I think of all the ways I could have screwed up somewhere. Fear comes knocking down my door.

Recently, I “stumbled” (OK, God may have pushed a little) on a couple of other verses.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 37:23-24
The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

I realized even during those waiting times, God is holding my hand. I have nothing to fear when I am in a waiting pattern. God will give me strength to see any project to the end. Even if I have screwed up somewhere along the way, HE will make it come out alright.  I have nothing to fear.

This is exactly why when I wait and put all my trust in the LORD, He will strengthen me and give me wings to fly and feet to run and I will not grow weary of waiting.

505DCE23-9805-45EE-9F94-9DB21B8E163E

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Sit Still in the Dark

Exodus 14:14 NIRV 
The Lord will fight for you. Just be still.

When you are in a fight with someone it is so hard to sit still. When that person you are fighting with is yourself it is impossible.

I have spent all of my adult life fighting myself. Mental illnesses is a two-edged sword. You often fight with people around you, never meaning to. Then you turn and fight yourself because of the guilt. You tell yourself the meanest things. Things you would never tell another human being. You hate yourself. For me it is often like an out of body experience. I see the way I am acting and scream but can’t stop myself. 

Over the years, I have found the only way I make it through my “episodes” is to sit still. When all those angry voices in my head come to bully me once again, I sit still. It does me know good to fight back. I can’t fight myself. There is nowhere to run or hide. I must sit still. God fights for me. He doesn’t let go. I may not see him or feel him, but he comes for me. He always does. 

I have translated these thoughts into other areas of my life. There are times when I need to stand up and fight. However, there are other times God says, “I got this! Sit still and let me fight!” It is in those moments, I am still learning, but always trying to listen. I know how important it is to sit still.

Deep Down Inside
by Tabetha Frick

Imprisoned
Shackled
Darkness surrounds 
Deep down inside

Those words are harsh
They cut like a knife
No longer in control
Deep down inside

Why don’t they stop
Can’t they see the pain
Its so dark 
Deep down inside

The tears are streaming
The anger is raging
Why is it so dark 
Deep down inside

I hear my voice
I try to scream
I am here in the dark 
Deep down inside

Too late now
The damage is done
I must wait in the dark 
Deep down inside

The light will come
It always does
But for now I wait
Deep down inside

0E3CB58D-9C3F-4E85-814C-A5138035CA9B

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Cuss, Cry, Cringe or Thank God

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It was a really long day! I was feeling a little overwhelmed. It seemed everyone needed me at the same time today and there just wasn’t enough of me to go around.

I still had several more things to accomplish once I got home, but I was excited because at least I was leaving work and headed that way!

Then I came to my “favorite” road home…the one with the railroad tracks!

Yep! You guessed it there was a train on the track. It was going really slow. As a matter of fact, it stopped and went the other way and then stopped again and came back.

What did I do? Do I scream (cuss)? Did I throw a tantrum (cry)? Did I give up and bang my head on my steering wheel (cringe)?

Nope!

I rolled down my windows. Turned off my car grabbed my phone to play some tunes and a book to read. I laid back and thought, “Wow! Time for me!” (Thanked God!)

I would love to tell you this is always my reaction when life throws something in my way. If I did, I would be lying through my teeth!

Patience has not and is not always my friend. However, there are sometimes I just have to find the silver lining! Today was one of those days. I mean seriously, how many times do you get to just kick back and read a book when you have a million other things to do. I had an excuse and everything! I was going to take full advantage of this!

Let’s be real here. Even the most organized list maker and planner is going to face obstacles though out the day. Now, I am not saying throw all the plans out, but how about we start looking at is as an outline of possibilities for the day. Then let’s just sit back and see what gifts God has to offer us for the day! Maybe you will be lucky enough to get a train to help you stop and relax too!

B5581FFA-C50B-4BA0-9A44-1B349C8802A9

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

I Hope

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I am drawing a blank today.  I prayed and prayed, but nothing is coming to me.  

A writer’s worst nightmare!

I had actually picked the verse above a few days ago and set it aside. I am staring at it and still nothing is coming, or is it?!

I think I am living this verse right now in this very moment.  I am praying and hoping that God will tell me what I am suppose to blog about.  I am hoping for some words of wisdom to pass on. 

I am HOPING!

Hope is such a teeny tiny little word, but has such a BIG meaning.  I wake up in hope and I go to bed in hope.

I hope for a good day.

I hope for a message from my children.

I hope for one more day with my mother and father.

I hope I remember everything when I leave for work.

I hope for green lights and no trains or accidents.

I hope for something good for dinner (my hubby does all the cooking).

I hope for enough energy to do my workout after work.

I hope for a relaxing evening.

I hope for a good nights sleep.

These are just a few things that pop through my mind as I go through my day. I have bigger hopes and dreams also, but the important thing is I have hopes. I do hope. When I continue to hope, God doesn’t let me down.

Do all of those things always come to pass right then? 

No, but I never give up hope.

Hope is what gets me through each moment, even the ones I hoped would never come. My hope is what sustains me because God’s love has been poured out into my heart through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to me.

Hmmm…I hope this blog has encouraged you to keep hoping. I also hope to see you again on Monday.

*Hugs*

Tabetha

8E5BED54-24CC-4AC2-B93F-2BDF32FD564B

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

I Will Be Strong Tomorrow, but Not Right Now

1 Corinthians 12:9
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

I remember my brother’s funeral like it was yesterday, instead of 23 years ago.  I remember standing tall and stiff.  I remember saying over and over again, “I am an army wife.  I must be strong. I cannot cry. I have to support my mom and dad.”

It was a very difficult day for all of us.  My brother had been taken away in a very brutal way and much too young. He left a wife and two beautiful daughters behind.

No one ever wants to get a phone call saying your loved one is dead. I can’t explain how hard it is to hear the person on the other end of the phone tell you they were murdered.

For me, it was like the wind was knocked out of me and at the same time the world just stopped spinning and fell away.  I couldn’t feel my body at all.  I remember having my newborn in my arms and my friend quickly grabbing her then turning to me and setting me down on the couch.

It was in that very moment, I knew without God, I wasn’t even going to be able to take my next breath. I had no strength for anything.

At the time, I lived 12 hours away, but I don’t even remember the drive home. 

When I reached my parents house and saw my parents faces, I could only mutter a quick prayer of “God, get us through this!”

The voice I heard came back with, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I knew from that moment on, it was not going to be easy.  I was going to be very hard.  The days to come would even seem impossible to get through at times.  However, I knew I was going to get through them.  I knew God was going to go through them for me.

Yes, you read that last statement correctly.  He was going to get through them for me and not just with me.  He had already been down that road watching a group of people murder His son. He knew the pain I was going through.

In one of my weakest hours, he was my strength. It wasn’t easy at all, but there was hope for the sun to shine again.  That is what got me through. Everything was going to be OK, just not right now. And that was OK too.

3FB96D4E-AE64-4B69-8038-7843A5716AFA

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

I. Can’t. Do. It!

Jeremiah 17:7
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

I. Can’t. Do. It! I stomped my feet and told the Lord!  I am not capable.  I don’t have the will power.  I am too old.  I can’t try again.  I can’t go through this again.  I won’t do it because I. Can’t. Do. It!

What was God’s reply? I know you can’t! But I can!

I have no confidence in me and my abilities. I don’t have the strength to do many things in my life.  That is OK.  I don’t have to have confidence in me. I have to have confidence in God.  I must learn to rely on his strength.

Need some more proof? Here are a few more verses in the bible to convince you.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Psalm 119:28

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10

Buy those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me. Psalm 22:19

So, no I can’t do it! But God can! i just have to have confidence in him and rely on his strength to get me through.

19E8C885-BC4E-461C-993D-E9A7EAD4E68D

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.