Tag: PTSD

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A Rock is My Pillow

Psalms 62:1-2

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (NIV)


God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I’m set for life.(MSG)

Word Study

Rest – H1875 דּוּמִיָּה dûmiyyâ, silence, stillness; rest

Rock – H7446 צוּר4 ṣûr4, rock; stone mass, rocky crag; a title of God, with a focus of stability, and possibly as a place of security and safety

Thoughts…

I struggle with PTSD. It often leaves me terrified right where I stand. The sights, sounds, and smells swirl around me taking me right back to those horrible events. I am stuck in a never-ending tape recording and reliving every single minute. 

Today’s verses are some of the many I have learned to use to bring me back to reality. I close my eyes very tight and repeat them over and over until I begin to believe them. 

Slowly the swirling wind begins to die. The darkness can no longer hold out the light. I find my feet. They are firmly planted on the rock. I am stable, secure and safe. Soon stillness settles over my soul. Silence fills my head. I can once again rest. 

When your life starts tossing you to and fro, remember you have a rock where you can rest. 

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Let the Storm Rage On!

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (NIV)

Word Study

Steadfast – H6164 סָמַךְ sāmak, to sustain, uphold; to lay (one’s hand upon); to be braced, be steadfast; to lean upon, rely upon, gain confidence; [P] to strengthen, refresh

Thoughts…

mind … stayed–(Ps 112:7, 8). Jesus can create “perfect peace” within thy mind, though storms of trial rage without (Isa 57:19; Mr 4:39); as a city kept securely by a strong garrison within, though besieged without (so Php 4:7). “Keep,” literally, “guard as with a garrison.” HORSLEY translates, (God’s) workmanship (the Hebrew does not probably mean “mind,” but “a thing formed,” Eph 2:10), so constantly “supported”; or else “formed and supported (by Thee) Thou shalt preserve (it, namely, the righteous nation) in perpetual peace” (Jameson, Fausett, and Brown Commentary).

Living with any kind of mental illness, your idea of normal is so not what everyone else thinks. You live in a physical place for mere moments and then you walk on to the next spot. You live in your brain 100% of the time. When that brain is going to a very dark space, you are often just along for the ride. However, you are never alone on this journey. NEVER! Never! Never! What is swirling around in the brain like a giant typhoon can still find peace in the eye of the storm. It may not feel like it right now, but if you can just hang on to that hope and lean upon God you will find peace.

Find your inner Elsa. Let the storm rage on. WIth God, the cold never bothered me anyway!

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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I Got You

Isaiah 41:10 & 13

Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. That’s right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go.
I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic.
I’m right here to help you.’ (MSG)

Word Study

Fear or Panic – H3707 יָרֵא1 yārē’1, to be afraid, be frightened; be dreadful, be feared; [P] to frighten, terrify, intimidate; terror and fright, fear (92), feared (12), be feared (4), dreadful (4), terrified (4), intimidate (3), alarmed (2), despair (2), frightened (2), have fear (2)

Thoughts…

Vs. 10-20. God speaks with tenderness; Fear thou not, for I am with thee: not only within call but present with thee. Art thou weak? I will strengthen thee. Art thou in want of friends? I will help thee in the time of need. Art thou ready to fall? I will uphold thee with that right hand which is full of righteousness (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary).

As I write this today I am fighting with a panic attack. I am shaking so bad I am struggling to type. Forgive me if there are errors and. Typos. it began when I picked up my bible to read today’s scriptures. I am not trying to say this is a direct attack from Satan, but it sure feels that way. the first thing I wanted to do was put it down and run. I am so glad I didn’t. Someone out there needs to know they are not alone. These verses remind us we are not alone! Verse 10 and 13 plainly state don’t panic, God is with me. He has a firm grip on me. I am not losing it. I need to just be still and let God hang on. Take a deep breath, Let go and let God. 

I don’t know what you are going through right now. I only know you are not alone. Please don’t panic. Take a deep breath, let go and let God. Fall in his arms. Let him hold you. He will get you through this. He will not let go!

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Timing is Everything

Psalm 31:15
My Times are in your hands.


Andrew Murray was a South African pastor who visited England in 1895. While there, an old back injury flared up causing him to go on bed rest. The lady of the house he was staying at came to him one day because of a friend of hers was in bad shape. She asked Murray if he had any words of encouragement for her friend. He quickly handed her a piece of paper he had been writing on with words of encouragement for himself. It said,
 
“In times of trouble say:
First- God brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place. In that, I will rest.
Next-He will keep me in His love and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child.
Then-He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow.
Last-In his good time He can bring me out again-how and when he knows.
I am here-By God’s appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.”
 
In this age of microwaves, drive-thrus, and instant pots, we want everything NOW! We would do good to remember that everything is in God’s hands and God’s timing. He knows where we are at and what we are going through. He knew we would be there long before we did. He will be there through it all and with us all the time. His love and grace will see us through, even in our darkest pit.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Not Alone, Even in the Pit

Romans 8:38-39 
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
When I was a little kid, I would sometimes walk in my sleep. Most of the time it was OK. I would just end up somewhere in my house, wake up and then go back to bed. However, this time I wasn’t so lucky. I was not at home. I wasn’t even in a house.
 
I was about eight and my parents took me camping. We were at a campground and our spot was on the other side of the park from the bathrooms. I guess I needed to use the bathroom and so I got up, left the camper and started walking in the middle of the night. When I woke up, I realized where I was and started to panic. I was all alone and now I had to walk all the way back in the dark with lots of scary noises all around me.
 
There are times in my life now when PTSD, depression or anxiety sets in and I feel alone. The darkness all around me is deafening. The silence is solid. I retreat to my hole away from everyone. I build my walls all around. I find myself in the pit once again.
 
Much like my night at the campground, I am not alone. As I stepped out into the darkness, I began to pray and talk to God. He was with me in that bathroom and he walked with all the way back to the camper. Deep in the pit he is also waiting for me to call out his name. All I need to do is turn my head towards him and he will swoop in and hold my hand. WE will wait together. WE will walk out together. I will never be alone.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Holding Things Together

Colossians 1:17 
He is before all things and in him all things hold together
 
I wonder around from thing to thing
Place to place
Person to person.
Nothing makes sense
My mind is disjointed
Scattered
Twisted

I feel overwhelmed
My surroundings are blurred
People are talking to me
My brain rejects all stimuli
It can’t compute
Not one more thing
I am going to explode

I am melting down
My breathing quickens
I want to scream
I can’t convey the message
Between my voice and my brain
All is lost
I fall apart

Too Much! Too Much
TOO MUCH!
I shake my head
I clamp my hands over my ears
I close my eyes
NO MORE!
My voice finally cries out.

I AM DONE!
TIME OUT!
GO AWAY!
LEAVE ME BE!
TOO MUCH!
NO MORE!
IT IS OVER!

Deep breath
Sit down
Let the world go on
Without me
Like a commuter train
Whizzing by
Destinations yet to be seen

Jesus is before 
All things
And
In Him
All things
Are held together
Even Me

Jesus will hold
This pile of shattered pieces
Nothing will be lost
I can let go for a moment
And let the world go past
It is OK
He is holding on

I don’t have to anymore
I will be fine
The sun will 
Shine again
And my brain will
Let it in.
I will survive.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

The Scream by Edward Munch
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I Bear the Light! What is Your Superpower?

Matthew 5:14-16 (MSG): 1Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

I read the above verses from Matthew this week and jumped for joy! I found a way I can serve God, by serving others. He has created me to be a light in this world filled with darkness. Created to bear light with the power to dispel the darkness wherever I go.

Do you realize what this means? You, my friend, are a superhero! However, this is much more powerful any superhero power! My light is the word of my testimony. It is my past and all of its good and ugly experiences. My voice is my light. It will show the pathway to survive anxiety, depression, and PTSD by leading people to the one true Light of this World.

God did not create us to sit in pews on Sunday morning and the occasional holiday. He did not create us to read and pray, then do nothing about it. He created us to be a light to this world. We come to bear the light of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. We are to open our mouths and share with people, love people, hold people and take them to the one who can heal them and prepare them to be more light in this world.

Whatever experiences you have dealt with in your life, these are your passions. These are the stepping stones to lay out for others who travel the same road. Let your voice be heard. Let your light shine. Tell people they are not alone. You have been there and done that. Wear your superhero cape with pride! You are no longer Clark Kent. You are SUPERMAN!

Superman, DC Comics

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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He’s Got Your Back Even in the Dark

Psalms 39

Psalms 139: 5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

When depression takes over, you can feel like you are engulfed in the darkness. No one can see you. Life just seems to go on around you and no one cares.

I can promise you someone does see you and someone does cares.

God is always there. He always sees you and he always cares even when we don’t see him or feel him. He has our six. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me (Psalms 139:5).

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You (Psalms 139:7-12).

Even in the depths of the pit that surrounds you, God can see you bright as day. He has his eye on you. You are not alone. Call out for him. Let your voice be heard. He will see you through.

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.