Tag: God

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You Must Step into Freedom

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I sat there reliving the moment over and over again. I felt the guilt and anguish. I had really screwed up! I had let my anger get the best of me and I had lashed out at my son, again!

It wasn’t the first time and I am ashamed to say it wasn’t the last either.

When my kids were growing up, I had no idea I had PTSD. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and even bipolar disorder, but no one had even thought of non-combat PTSD.

Non-combat. What does that even mean? It is another label they put on me to let others know that although I have PTSD, it isn’t military related.  To us with PTSD, that label has no meaning. We all know the trauma we went through and how it affects each and every one of us. 

Most importantly, we know the guilt we carry around because of it.

When the battle is over and the smoke clears, I see the damage I have done.  I see the casualties of my sickness. I have to pick up the pieces and try to put them together again.

You don’t have to have PTSD to have these feelings. Any argument can leave you with feelings of guilt. Feelings of would of, could of and should of. It doesn’t matter who was right or who was wrong. The damage is done and no one wins.

Later, as you do pick up those pieces and the mending process starts, the guilt never seems to leave.  Oh, it goes away for awhile. But then you are laying there in bed and the darkness creeps in around you. It whispers how wrong you were. 

How could you have done that!

No one will ever really forgive you for that!

You are the worst person ever!

You don’t deserve to be forgiven!

You are so stupid!

These words are NOT from God!

Let me repeat that…THESE. WORDS. ARE. NOT. FROM. GOD!

Christ draws us closer to him through conviction. The Holy Spirit prompts us to make corrections in our life. Condemnation brings only darkness into our lives leaving us with more problems and no solutions.

Christ came to set us free from condemnation. He knew we were going to have “those days.” He knew we were going to face “those issues.” He also knew we wouldn’t always choose the right way to handle them. He came so we wouldn’t be held captive by our bad choices forever. We would have freedom to stand up, dust ourselves off and try again. 

Our past is a chance for a teaching moment, it should not be a punishment moment. Discipline comes with love, mercy and grace. Punishment comes with hate, evil and condemnation.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t live as a slave to them for the rest of your life. Christ has opened the door of your cell, but you have to step out into the sunshine.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Feeling Guilty for Doing Right

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

I had to drive an hour and a half this morning to a meeting.  It was mostly interstate and the speed limit was 65.  I was doing 65.  I had my cruise control set.  People started passing me and I mean flying by me. I felt bad.

Yes, you read that right. I. Felt. Bad! I mean I felt guilty.  Like I was some how slowing them down or getting in their way.  

I contemplated speeding up and being like everyone else. Being part of the crowd.  Keeping up with everyone. Passing all the “slow” drivers like me. Making them get out of my way.

Then it hit me! I was feeling guilty for doing the right thing.  I was feeling bad because I wasn’t part of the crowd, doing what everyone else was doing. Doing what was really against the law.

OK, anyone else going huh? Why should I feel guilty?

Don’t for one minute think I am a driving saint! I don’t always obey the speed limit.  Today, however, I was and I couldn’t believe I felt guilty for doing the right thing.

Peer pressure is an awful thing and it doesn’t just happen to young people. It can happen to anyone at any age.  What it really boils down to is a pack of lies from the father of lies.  He is just trying to get into your head.  That old, “Did he really say you would die if you ate from that tree?!” 

LIES! LIES! LIES!

Keep steadfast! Don’t give in to the lies! You will find perfect peace when you hold on and trust the LORD!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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No Sell-By-Date

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

One of my favorite author’s is Sheila Walsh.  In her book, In the Middle of the Mess she says,  “I believe it’s possible to be healed and to fall again and again. Grace doesn’t come with a sell-by date.”

I chuckle every time I read that. Grace Doesn’t Come With a Sell-By-Date!

I want to run around screaming AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

We are not perfect! Even as Christians we make mistakes! We are going to make mistakes.  We are works in progress. Don’t believe me, read Philippians 1:6 again.  It says God has begun a good work in me and is continuing to work in me until He is finally finished.  When will He be finished? When Christ Jesus returns!  

Tabetha translation: I am trying my best to do the best I can with what I have.  I will make mistakes.  I will own up to those mistakes.  I will fall down.  I will get up again. I will keep tying.  I AM HUMAN! 

The quicker we can all except that fact, the quicker we can move on to every one around us is also human.  They will also make mistakes. The quicker we will learn to live together and work together.

I recently read a sign that said instead of gossiping about someone put them on your prayer list. Extend them some of that no expiration date GRACE! The good LORD knows you and I are certainly going to need some.

We may be spoiled by Grace, but thank you LORD that Grace never spoils!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Save Me from My Darkness

Romans 10:13 HCSB
For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. 

PTSD throws me back to the times and places of my attacks.  Not only do I feel emotionally and physically everything around me, I also hear everything that was happening then.  I smell everything just like it was. I can even taste the moment.  Everything in the here and now melts away and I am thrown back into that exact moment over and over again. I relive it like a nightmare that will not end.

As I sit in my pit of despair, when my PTSD has sent me over the edge and all I see is darkness all around, the old demons come back.  I can hear the laughter and hissing all around. I feel the inky darkness of evil overtaking me. Thoughts of self mutilation and even suicide become a familiar tune.

I have admitted these feelings to few people.  Only a couple of people in my life truly understand and have even walked these pathways too. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I have put these thoughts in writing.  My poetry is often dark and obscure, but I have never out and out talked about self mutilation and suicide.

I have done lots of research and ready many books on PTSD, as well as other mental disorders. For years my doctors thought I was bipolar. It took one doctor to finally look at me and hear my story to realize it was actually PTSD.

Recently, I picked up another book from an author not only spoke to me, but seemed to be walking right beside me. In the Middle of the Mess is Sheila Walsh’s story of her own fight with depression, including suicidal thoughts.

In one part of the book she was describing a particular night where she was fighting the darkness all around her.  Her experience was very similar to the one I described above.  She remembers calling out Romans 10:13

“I called that verse out loud and I believed it. I called on His name and believed Him. I had been saved from hell and into eternity ever since, as an eleven-year-old girl, I accepted Jesus as my Savior. But that night I needed saving in the present, and I knew it. It wasn’t that I needed to become a Christian again; instead, I needed the power of the living Word of God to save me from the present tormentors.”

I have been saved since I was seven years old.  I am a Pastor’s wife and have been in church all my life.  I have heard or read that verse millions of times, but never like this.  I have always read it as part of the salvation road or Roman’s Road as we always called it.  I never looked at it in present tense.  I called out and the LORD saved me.

In the middle of my darkest times, I call out and the LORD saves me.

I don’t know what you are going through right now or what you may be facing tomorrow.  I do know that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.  This does not just mean salvation from your sins when you become a Christian.  You will be saved from your circumstances. I don’t know how. I don’t know when, but I know the LORD will save you! So hang in and repeat this with me and keep repeating it until you believe it!

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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You Are Guac!

Psalms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I recently read a story about a speaker who stepped out on stage and pulled a $100 bill out of his pocket.  He asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Hands shot up all over.

He then took the bill and crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, stomped on it and got it all dirty and nasty.  Once again, he asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Again, the same hands shot up all over the place.

The speaker when on to explain this is why God still wants you! It doesn’t matter how beat up, tore up, dirty or crumpled you are, He still sees your worth! Just like no matter what is done to that $100 bill, nothing changes its worth. Nothing will ever change our worth to God!

If someone hasn’t told you today, you should know you are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made and God makes WONDERFUL things. I guarantee in God’s eyes you are the guacamole NOT the salsa!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Hold My Hand

Isaiah 41:13
I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

I am not one to repost someone else’s blog, but I was struggling all day with exactly what to say and how to say it.  I knew what I wanted to talk about today, but the words just were not coming together.

Then I sat down to check my email and here was a blog from Jill Savage expressing just what I was feeling. I couldn’t say it any better, so I decided to pass it on.

The nurse walked into my room and said, “Jill it’s time to go. You’ll need to leave your glasses here.” Mark prayed for me, gave me a kiss and then waved as the nurse wheeled me out of my room towards my lumpectomy surgery. Without my glasses I can’t see much so the feeling of being disoriented seemed to heighten the emotion of the moment.

That’s when the words of Isaiah 41:13 flooded into my mind. “I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

God settled my heart with just a few words…just a few of HIS words, that is.

My surgeon prays for her patients before surgery. She had no idea the implication it had for me when she stopped in the presurgical area, held my RIGHT hand, and prayed for me.  Coincidence?  I think not.

This verse stuck with me through all my dark seasons: my husband’s infidelity, my breast cancer diagnosis, our adopted son’s mental illness and suicide attempts.

Today I’m prompted to share it with you because if you don’t need it today, you will need at some point in time. Real life is messy.  We need God’s word to anchor our soul when the waves of real life seem to be tossing us around.

Whatever you’re facing today…He’s holding your hand.

The post He’s Holding Your Hand appeared first on Jill Savage.

 

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Wait Like an Eagle!

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I remember growing up in what you would call a small country church.  One of my favorite songs we would sing was based on Isaiah 41:31

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. 
They shall mount up with wings as eagles. 
They shall run and not grow weary. 
They shall walk and not faint. 
Teach me Lord, 
Teach Lord to wait.

For those of you who may not know, I am excellent at waiting. NOT! NO WAY! NO HOW!

So, why in the world would I ever love to sing this hymn?

To be honest, it is because of my mom.  This has always been one of her favorite verses and she always loved singing it. She always managed to remind me of it when I wasn’t being so patient. 

A few years ago, when we were marathon training we would bring this verse up to each other when we were feeling a little low on energy. Even as I ran the marathon that year, I kept humming and singing that song over and over to keep me going.

My biggest problem with waiting is I feel powerless when I am in the middle of something. I have to do something to get started.  I have to do something to finish up a project.  In the middle, not so much to do. I just have to wait. 

And when I wait, my mind starts to wonder and come up with all kinds of problems. I play the “what if” games or “I should have”. I think of all the ways I could have screwed up somewhere. Fear comes knocking down my door.

Recently, I “stumbled” (OK, God may have pushed a little) on a couple of other verses.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 37:23-24
The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

I realized even during those waiting times, God is holding my hand. I have nothing to fear when I am in a waiting pattern. God will give me strength to see any project to the end. Even if I have screwed up somewhere along the way, HE will make it come out alright.  I have nothing to fear.

This is exactly why when I wait and put all my trust in the LORD, He will strengthen me and give me wings to fly and feet to run and I will not grow weary of waiting.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Sit Still in the Dark

Exodus 14:14 NIRV 
The Lord will fight for you. Just be still.

When you are in a fight with someone it is so hard to sit still. When that person you are fighting with is yourself it is impossible.

I have spent all of my adult life fighting myself. Mental illnesses is a two-edged sword. You often fight with people around you, never meaning to. Then you turn and fight yourself because of the guilt. You tell yourself the meanest things. Things you would never tell another human being. You hate yourself. For me it is often like an out of body experience. I see the way I am acting and scream but can’t stop myself. 

Over the years, I have found the only way I make it through my “episodes” is to sit still. When all those angry voices in my head come to bully me once again, I sit still. It does me know good to fight back. I can’t fight myself. There is nowhere to run or hide. I must sit still. God fights for me. He doesn’t let go. I may not see him or feel him, but he comes for me. He always does. 

I have translated these thoughts into other areas of my life. There are times when I need to stand up and fight. However, there are other times God says, “I got this! Sit still and let me fight!” It is in those moments, I am still learning, but always trying to listen. I know how important it is to sit still.

Deep Down Inside
by Tabetha Frick

Imprisoned
Shackled
Darkness surrounds 
Deep down inside

Those words are harsh
They cut like a knife
No longer in control
Deep down inside

Why don’t they stop
Can’t they see the pain
Its so dark 
Deep down inside

The tears are streaming
The anger is raging
Why is it so dark 
Deep down inside

I hear my voice
I try to scream
I am here in the dark 
Deep down inside

Too late now
The damage is done
I must wait in the dark 
Deep down inside

The light will come
It always does
But for now I wait
Deep down inside

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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The Wrong Side of the Bed

Colossians 4:5-6 
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Boy did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed!

I actually considered crawling back in and getting out on the other side…hahaha!

My poor husband. I was neither wise in my actions, nor were my words seasoned or full of grace. As a matter of fact, I felt so badly that I arranged to have lunch with him to refresh our day. I am happy to report that it did.

We all have those days. Maybe something went wrong to throw your day off. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or woke up sick. It doesn’t matter what started it. It is how you finish it.

I know taking words back is like putting toothpaste back in the tube. If like me, you let things get out of control before you could get a hold of them, then make up for it. I know this isn’t always possible, but try. 

Whenever possible, be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:5-6). But when it is not and the damage is done please remember foolish people laugh at making things right when they sin. But honest people try to do the right thing (Proverbs 14:9, NIRV).

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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An Intelligent Failure

1 John 2:1
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

If I were writing 1 John 2:1 it would come out a little more like this…

Hey, I really hope you don’t find yourself doing things wrong. However, when you do, don’t try to hide it or pretend you didn’t screw up.  It’s OK! Admit you are wrong, learn from it and move on.  Jesus has you covered. He is there to help. He died for your sins. You will be forgiven.
~1 John 2:1 (Tabetha Version)

God knew we were not going to be perfect. He knew we were going to need Jesus to help us out of our sin.  He also knew that Jesus dying wasn’t going to keep us from screwing up. 

I have a philosophical question for you…is it failure if we learn from it?

I was reading a devotion this morning. The author was saying trying to get across how to fail successfully.  He used a quote from inventor Charles Kettering that suggested we must learn to fail intelligently. He said, “Once you’ve failed, analyze the problem and find out why, because each failure is one more step leading to the cathedral of success.”

I love this idea of learning to fail successfully.  Kettering went on to explain in order to do so one must do three things. (1) Face defeat, don’t fake success. (2) Learn all can from the mistake. (3) Never use failure as an excuse to not keep trying.

So, to answer my own question, no I don’t think it is truly failure if we learn from it. To stay in the light with Jesus (1 john 1:7) does not mean to not make mistakes. It means to own up to them, learn from them and start again.

Remember Jesus is always there to be our advocate.  He will give you sound advice even when you screw up. So don’t be a failure. Be an Intelligent Failure!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.