Tag: Failure

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Sit Still in the Dark

Exodus 14:14 NIRV 
The Lord will fight for you. Just be still.

When you are in a fight with someone it is so hard to sit still. When that person you are fighting with is yourself it is impossible.

I have spent all of my adult life fighting myself. Mental illnesses is a two-edged sword. You often fight with people around you, never meaning to. Then you turn and fight yourself because of the guilt. You tell yourself the meanest things. Things you would never tell another human being. You hate yourself. For me it is often like an out of body experience. I see the way I am acting and scream but can’t stop myself. 

Over the years, I have found the only way I make it through my “episodes” is to sit still. When all those angry voices in my head come to bully me once again, I sit still. It does me know good to fight back. I can’t fight myself. There is nowhere to run or hide. I must sit still. God fights for me. He doesn’t let go. I may not see him or feel him, but he comes for me. He always does. 

I have translated these thoughts into other areas of my life. There are times when I need to stand up and fight. However, there are other times God says, “I got this! Sit still and let me fight!” It is in those moments, I am still learning, but always trying to listen. I know how important it is to sit still.

Deep Down Inside
by Tabetha Frick

Imprisoned
Shackled
Darkness surrounds 
Deep down inside

Those words are harsh
They cut like a knife
No longer in control
Deep down inside

Why don’t they stop
Can’t they see the pain
Its so dark 
Deep down inside

The tears are streaming
The anger is raging
Why is it so dark 
Deep down inside

I hear my voice
I try to scream
I am here in the dark 
Deep down inside

Too late now
The damage is done
I must wait in the dark 
Deep down inside

The light will come
It always does
But for now I wait
Deep down inside

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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The Wrong Side of the Bed

Colossians 4:5-6 
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Boy did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed!

I actually considered crawling back in and getting out on the other side…hahaha!

My poor husband. I was neither wise in my actions, nor were my words seasoned or full of grace. As a matter of fact, I felt so badly that I arranged to have lunch with him to refresh our day. I am happy to report that it did.

We all have those days. Maybe something went wrong to throw your day off. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or woke up sick. It doesn’t matter what started it. It is how you finish it.

I know taking words back is like putting toothpaste back in the tube. If like me, you let things get out of control before you could get a hold of them, then make up for it. I know this isn’t always possible, but try. 

Whenever possible, be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:5-6). But when it is not and the damage is done please remember foolish people laugh at making things right when they sin. But honest people try to do the right thing (Proverbs 14:9, NIRV).

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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An Intelligent Failure

1 John 2:1
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

If I were writing 1 John 2:1 it would come out a little more like this…

Hey, I really hope you don’t find yourself doing things wrong. However, when you do, don’t try to hide it or pretend you didn’t screw up.  It’s OK! Admit you are wrong, learn from it and move on.  Jesus has you covered. He is there to help. He died for your sins. You will be forgiven.
~1 John 2:1 (Tabetha Version)

God knew we were not going to be perfect. He knew we were going to need Jesus to help us out of our sin.  He also knew that Jesus dying wasn’t going to keep us from screwing up. 

I have a philosophical question for you…is it failure if we learn from it?

I was reading a devotion this morning. The author was saying trying to get across how to fail successfully.  He used a quote from inventor Charles Kettering that suggested we must learn to fail intelligently. He said, “Once you’ve failed, analyze the problem and find out why, because each failure is one more step leading to the cathedral of success.”

I love this idea of learning to fail successfully.  Kettering went on to explain in order to do so one must do three things. (1) Face defeat, don’t fake success. (2) Learn all can from the mistake. (3) Never use failure as an excuse to not keep trying.

So, to answer my own question, no I don’t think it is truly failure if we learn from it. To stay in the light with Jesus (1 john 1:7) does not mean to not make mistakes. It means to own up to them, learn from them and start again.

Remember Jesus is always there to be our advocate.  He will give you sound advice even when you screw up. So don’t be a failure. Be an Intelligent Failure!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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I. Can’t. Do. It!

Jeremiah 17:7
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

I. Can’t. Do. It! I stomped my feet and told the Lord!  I am not capable.  I don’t have the will power.  I am too old.  I can’t try again.  I can’t go through this again.  I won’t do it because I. Can’t. Do. It!

What was God’s reply? I know you can’t! But I can!

I have no confidence in me and my abilities. I don’t have the strength to do many things in my life.  That is OK.  I don’t have to have confidence in me. I have to have confidence in God.  I must learn to rely on his strength.

Need some more proof? Here are a few more verses in the bible to convince you.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Psalm 119:28

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10

Buy those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me. Psalm 22:19

So, no I can’t do it! But God can! i just have to have confidence in him and rely on his strength to get me through.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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You Can’t Earn It

Luke 22:42
Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

Daddy, if I am really good, can I have ice cream?

Mommy, if I clean my room, can I go to the park?

If I exercise all week, I can eat out on Saturday!

If I lose weight, I can go on vacation.

There is nothing wrong with rewards and incentives. We all respond better when we get something for our efforts. If you don’t believe that, ask yourself how long you would continue working at your job without a paycheck!

There is one place where rewards and incentives don’t apply. God! No matter how good we are we cannot earn our grace. We cannot earn our salvation. We can’t even gain blessings and the answers we want to prayers for our “goodness.”

How can I say this with such boldness? That is easy. Can you come up with anyone full of more goodness than Jesus? He is perfect. He is blameless. He is sinless. He asked for one thing, he really wanted out. He didn’t want to suffer. His will was to find another way. He asked to please “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

If anyone deserved a reward, it was Jesus! He did everything he was asked. Yet he was not rewarded with what he wanted.

So what makes you think you deserve something just because you have been a “good Christian”? It doesn’t work that way. Grace and blessings are gifts. God loves to bless his children. Blessings come in many shapes and sizes. Yes, they even come as “No!”

God loves you right where you are, even when you make mistakes. That is one blessing I am glad I don’t have to earn. I am pretty sure I am not the only Christian who stumbles and fells. I am sure glad I don’t get the rewards that I deserve.

Thank you, Jesus, for taking the reward I deserved and giving to me grace and unfailing love that I will never earn.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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What’s Your Dream?

Hebrews 10:23-25
23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

 

I spent some time praying and reading my bible yesterday.  It became one of those deep thinking times.  I admit some days I just go through the motions.  I read and pray and then get on with my day.  However, yesterday was not one of those days.

I felt a like I was being drawn very close to God.  I just couldn’t get enough of him.  Then at one point, I heard a still small voice whisper, “What is your dream?” I was flabbergasted.  I mean I was really speechless.  I couldn’t answer.

For the past month, I have hit a desert spell you often hear Christians talk about.  I knew God was around.  I still had faith and hope.  I saw blessings and answers to prayer, but I felt depleted. I just didn’t know where I was going and what I wanted to do.  I felt like a warrior without a mission.

So when God asked me what was my dream, I answered the only way I knew how.  I prayed God give me a dream. This morning he did just that!

I opened my bible study and again there where the words “What is your dream?” It was followed by some suggestions and the one that sang into my heart was writing.  Earlier this month I was hit with some rejection of my writing.  It really blew the wind right out of my sails. In many ways, I was giving up on my dreams. The good news is God wasn’t!

He popped Hebrews 10:23-25 in my lap to remind me why I wanted to write in the first place.  Right before my eyes was my dream! I realized I had let one rejection kill my dream.  Good thing I have a God in the business of resurrections!  He certainly resurrected my dream.

What about you?  What is your dream?

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Brick by Brick

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

I am struggling today with a couple of personal issues. My father is in the hospital with pneumonia. Praise God he is doing well, but it was quite a fright for all of us last night.

While in the ER, I received some life-altering news that part of my dissertation examination was rejected. Besides feeling like a failure, I am not sure where this path is leading me.

What I do know is this, there is a plan for me. I may not see the path right now but it is being laid out brick by brick.

I don’t know what you are going through today, but I woke up this morning after a horrible day and the Son still shined! He brought me these verses for comfort and now I pray them over you.

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Who Cares?!?!

Psalms 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

January is a rotten time of year. Every commercial seems to scream “You are fat!” I don’t care if you are watching TV, scrolling social media, reading your email or picking up a magazine. You are bombarded with this message.

Then there are all the other messages that tell you are unorganized, lazy, or totally in debt.

I am not saying some of these things aren’t true, but there is one huge problem with all of these messages. They start you down a road of COMPARING!

I am convinced comparing is the go-to weapon of choice for the enemy. If he can open that door even a smidge, he gets you hooked. Your mind starts down a trail that is so hard to turn away from.

You try the first exit and it leads you to depression and despair because you don’t measure up. The next exit has you all holier than thou because at least you are not as bad as that person. No matter where you turn your focus remains on one thing…YOU!

Let’s get to the truth right now. You start worrying about what everyone else around you thinks. You are afraid people are not going to like you and think you aren’t good enough.

How do I know this? Because I have worn out way too many pairs of shoes on that journey. Can I tell you something I am trying to remember?

Who cares!?!?

I don’t care if I ever look like those rich, skinny women, with the perfectly organized house and thousands of followers on Pinterest. If God wanted me to be them he would have made me them. God made me the way he wanted me with my own unique qualities and talents. I need to be more aware of what he thinks of me.

You know what he thinks of you? He loves you right where you are now.

He doesn’t care if you fit into a bikini. You are perfect to him.

He doesn’t care if your home looks like the cover of a magazine. You are perfect to him.

He doesn’t care if you have organized your entire life on the most beautiful planner money can buy. You are perfect to him.

There is no need to be afraid of what everyone else thinks because the Lord is ou light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of our life — of whom shall I be afraid?

Let’s not wear out another pair of shoes trying to compare our lives to someone else. Instead, let’s skip down the road of life together enjoying what we have and who we are.

 

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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I Am Not A Failure

Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Something going wrong is not a failure.  Not trying again is a failure!

 

This is not easy for me to admit, but last semester I did not pass my cumulative exam for my doctorate degree.  I had three weeks to write two papers and both of my papers fell short. I must pass this exam to go on to my dissertation.  Once I pass it, I will have achieved my doctorate all but dissertation. I was so frustrated and upset; I did not retake the exam until this semester. I had failed!

Or so I thought.

I had that option of retaking it last semester, but I couldn’t.  I needed to put some time and space between me and those papers.  I needed a break.  Mind you, I finished my Bachelor’s degree waited two years started my Master’s and then went directly to my Doctorate right after that.  I have not had a break from classes in almost six years.  I was burnt out and the added frustration of not passing just sent me into a tailspin.

During this break, I have tried my best to not think about my “failure”.  However, this past week has had me sweating bullets again.  What if I fail again?  What if I never pass it?  I was so sure I was going to be a failure.

Today was fresh and new.  I opened the exam and took a new look at the papers I had written.  Things were a little clearer and the comments from last semester actually made sense now.  However, I still felt like a failure and was not so sure I could do any better this time.

Then two friends stepped up to pass on some advice.

One went to the bible and brought out the verse above. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” What I gleaned from that verse was quit being a fraidy cat and get to work on those papers.

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Pass or pass not, God will be with me.  Tomorrow will come.  The sun will rise.  Life will go on.

My other friend proceeded to tell me you only fail when you quit trying.  I am not a failure.

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I did not fail my exam. Yes, I did not pass. The papers were lacking.  What I did not see was all the things I did right on the papers.  I had lots of great comments.  The professors said it was obvious I was knowledgable about the subject.  I had great ideas.  One of the papers, I just needed to add more and put more of me and my analysis into it, not just the facts.  The other paper, I need to connect my data to my recommendation.  They were both awesome, I just needed to connect them better.

Today, I am going to choose to be strong and courageous and carry on.  I am not a failure.  I have not given up trying.  I just figured out how not to pass.  Now it is time to find what works!

 

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.