Tag: Failure

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Overwhelmed with Troubles, Near Death, in a Pit, without Strength.

Hebrew 11:1
Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

In the throes of depression, anxiety or even a PTSD attack, I feel alone. I feel I am in the pit. I am surrounded by darkness.

Yet, in this darkness that is full of evil, sadness, hatred, anger a sweet sickening voice calls out softly. It pretends to be my friend. It pretends to understand. It pretends to comfort me. It says things like…

Life is so hard. Your life is a struggle. It just isn’t worth it. Just give in. You are so tired. It would e easier if you just give up. You don’t want to fight anymore. You can’t fight anymore. Everyone else would be so much better without you in their lives. That is what you really want. you are a selfless, loving person. You want what is best for them. So go ahead. Do what is best for them.

In the pit, I feel like Psalms 88:3-4

I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the pit. I am like one without strength.

Yes, I am overwhelmed with troubles, near death, in a pit, without strength.

But, wait! These words are in God’s word. God knows where I am. God knows what I am feeling. He used the exact words I am feeling. He even knows I feel like I am crying out to Him and He is rejecting me (Ps 88:14).

He has also provided a magic word to see me through the pit. There is one word, just five little letters long, that will see me out of this pit. That word is FAITH!

The writer of Hebrews us in chapter 11 verse 1 said,

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

So, where does this leave me in my pit of despair? It leaves me confident that as I hope for God to save me and assurance that even though I don’t see Him right now He is there.

THAT IS FAITH!

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Stop It! You Are Not Going to Die!

Judges 6:23
But the LORD said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.”

“Oh, stop! You are not going to die!”

I am not sure how many times I heard this growing up or how many times I have said it myself to my own kiddos. It is a rather popular phrase to throw out when someone is overreacting. 

These words jumped out at me recently when I was reading the story of Gideon in Judges chapter 6.  I stopped and giggled.  Yep! Even, an Angel of the LORD used this phrase!

Now, I am not so sure this Angel had the hands on the hips, head cocked, eyes rolled and loud sigh when he said these words to Gideon. However, I sure heard it that way when I read it. Then I stopped and wondered just how many times had God spoke those words over me?

How many times had I once again turned a mole hill into a mountain? Now, I am not talking real problems here. I am talking those little things that you just let your imagination run with and now the world is coming to an end. The sky is not falling chicken little!

I can hear God telling me, “You are not going to die!” As a matter of fact, a frequent phrase I hear is, “Are you done yet! You are not going to die!” When that thought enters my head, I draw my bottom lip back in, suck up the snot bubble, wipe my eyes and reply, “Yes LORD, I am finished. What do I do now?”

You see, I hear these words when I have been trying to work out my issue on my own. I have not turned to God. Instead, I decided I was big enough to solve this problem all by myself. In simple words, I. Have. Messed. Things. Up! Now I am slinking over to my corner to lick my wounds wondering why everyone is out to get me.

It is in that moment, my wonderful Heavenly Father leans down and quietly says, “Are you ready for some help now? If so, let’s get you cleaned up and walking in the right direction again. Now, pull it together sweetheart, you aren’t going to die. We can make this right. Don’t be afraid, I am going to be right here with you.”

I will never be too old to mess up and I will never be too old to hear these loving words!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Perseverance Requires Grace

James 1:4
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Yes! I would love to run a marathon! It is on my bucket list!

That was me a couple of years ago.  I did not run, unless someone was chasing me or the ice cream truck passed me. However, I always wanted to run a marathon and I had 10 months to figure it out because I signed up!

I am going to let you into my world for a moment. At that time in my life, I was a cute, little piece of chunkiness at 250 lbs. Many people, including my doctor, always referred to me as proportionally fat. I am not so sure that was a compliment, but they assured me it was. 

Either way, shopping for running shoes and clothing did not come easy. Most athletic stores thought a size 8 was XL! I have to give some props to my most favorite stores in this area though. They both had wonderful staff who didn’t even blink when I said I was going to run a marathon.  They congratulated me and offered me all sorts of advice. 

My favorite was this little guy (I am sure my shadow weighed more than him) who was a runner. He had ran several marathons. Knowing that I wasn’t the typically shaped runner, he recommended I buy mens’ running shoes because they would handle my more robust frame. He tried to say it so delicately. It was the cutest thing. Then he looked at me and told me to take it slow and give myself plenty of grace.

Grace…now there is a word that I would have never thought of when training for anything athletic. I pictured my workouts more like having a Drill Sergeant on my shoulder calling me every name in the book and telling me I am not good enough and had to try harder. Grace?? Where does grace fit in?

Well, let me tell you Mr. Wisp of a Man was totally correct! You see I had to start out learning to walk 30 minutes without killing myself. I then learned to run for small burst here and there. Next, I learned to run for 30 minutes straight. Eventually, I ran farther and longer. Then I had to learn to run faster. I had to persevere. 

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Some days were hot, others cold. Rains came down along with sickness. Not to mention I had a few pulled muscles and lots of cramps! Any point along the way I could have said, “Nope! I am not good enough! I am too fat and no fat woman should never run!” I could have quit, but I didn’t. 

I offered my body and mind some grace. Sure, I would get up some days and say there was no way I was going to run that many miles. I wasn’t feeling well or the weather wasn’t cooperating. “No problem. I will run as much as I can today instead.” There were even days when I got so sick I couldn’t walk, let alone run. That was OK too. “I will rest up today and hit it hard tomorrow!”

Just like our walk with Christ, we aren’t going to be perfect all the time. We aren’t always going to live in a perfect world. Our days are not going to consist of rainbows and unicorns all the time. It is OK. We just have to persevere. We have to get up and walk again. We offer ourself a little grace and pick right back up and move on.

Before you know it, you will be throwing off everything that hinders you and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the race marked out for you (Hebrews 12:1).

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By the way, I ran that marathon, with my daughter, at 230 lbs. Unfortunately, it was an extremely cold day and half way through I succumbed to hypothermia. But you know what? I can say by the grace of God I ran a half marathon! YAY ME!

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Express It and Confess It!

Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Did you know you can’t surprise God? Yep, no surprise parties for Him. 

Everything you do and don’t do, 
Everything you feel and don’t feel, 
Everything you think and don’t thing,
He knows it all and is NOT surprised by it.

I came to grips with this a few years back when I was angry at God.  My husband came home, on my 10th wedding anniversary, to tell me he was in love with someone else and he wanted a divorce.  Here I was all dressed up and ready to go out for a nice dinner.  He was two hours late, with no phone call or text, and these were the first words out his mouth.  I am pretty sure I had a right to be upset.

I was upset with him, of course, but truth was, I was also angry with God.

I had two choices. One, be the “good little Christian” I was taught to be in my Sunday School class as a child and keep it all boxed up. Put a bow on top and smile my way through it. Two,  stomp off to my room give out a wail of an ugly cry and yell and scream at God. Throw the temper tantrums of all tantrums.

Want to guess what I did? If you guessed two, you would be correct!

It was all right there in my heart. God knew it already. I might as well express it! I gave Him both barrels.  I may have even thrown in a cuss word here and there. 

You know what I found out? God has big shoulders. Confessing to Him every little detail was healing. Hiding it and pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away. Your pain will find you! 

God was not offended by my  brutal honesty.  As a matter of fact, I think He is more offended when we hide it.  It is like we are out and out lying to His face! We are no better than Adam and Eve trying to hide in garden.

The next time you feel those emotions boiling inside, express them and confess them. Pour out your heart to God. He is our strong refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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She is Not Broken Anymore

I know I would normally blog about some experience I am going through and then tie it all nice and neat up with a bow to a bible verse.  However, tonight is going to be a little different.  A bible study of verses in I Peter, in the Message version of the bible, spoke to me.  I really think they speak for themselves and need no wrapping paper or bows.

Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it.

1 Peter 4:1-2, 12-13 & 19 The Message

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Thank You for Traveling that Road

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

No one’s life is all rainbows and unicorns. We all face painful moments that rock out entire world in a matter of seconds.

These moments will change you forever. So let them change you for the good.  Let them make you smarter, stronger, and grace filled. 

Through these times of trials and tribulations you just might be molding into the person God is preparing as the answer to someone’s prayer. Someone is going to need your wisdom, knowledge and most important empathy when they travel the road behind you.

Right now you may not see the end of the tunnel, but I know the LORD can. He is right next to you every step breathing life into your present and future. He is shining HIS light in the darkest places. Hold on tight. 

He is NOT going to leave you or forsake you. His grip is very tight and He will not drop you. No uncertainty, no broken dreams, and NO FEAR can keep you from Him.

Kick, scream, cry, throw a tantrum if you must. But then straighten your crown, remind Satan just who you are and keep moving.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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You Must Step into Freedom

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I sat there reliving the moment over and over again. I felt the guilt and anguish. I had really screwed up! I had let my anger get the best of me and I had lashed out at my son, again!

It wasn’t the first time and I am ashamed to say it wasn’t the last either.

When my kids were growing up, I had no idea I had PTSD. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and even bipolar disorder, but no one had even thought of non-combat PTSD.

Non-combat. What does that even mean? It is another label they put on me to let others know that although I have PTSD, it isn’t military related.  To us with PTSD, that label has no meaning. We all know the trauma we went through and how it affects each and every one of us. 

Most importantly, we know the guilt we carry around because of it.

When the battle is over and the smoke clears, I see the damage I have done.  I see the casualties of my sickness. I have to pick up the pieces and try to put them together again.

You don’t have to have PTSD to have these feelings. Any argument can leave you with feelings of guilt. Feelings of would of, could of and should of. It doesn’t matter who was right or who was wrong. The damage is done and no one wins.

Later, as you do pick up those pieces and the mending process starts, the guilt never seems to leave.  Oh, it goes away for awhile. But then you are laying there in bed and the darkness creeps in around you. It whispers how wrong you were. 

How could you have done that!

No one will ever really forgive you for that!

You are the worst person ever!

You don’t deserve to be forgiven!

You are so stupid!

These words are NOT from God!

Let me repeat that…THESE. WORDS. ARE. NOT. FROM. GOD!

Christ draws us closer to him through conviction. The Holy Spirit prompts us to make corrections in our life. Condemnation brings only darkness into our lives leaving us with more problems and no solutions.

Christ came to set us free from condemnation. He knew we were going to have “those days.” He knew we were going to face “those issues.” He also knew we wouldn’t always choose the right way to handle them. He came so we wouldn’t be held captive by our bad choices forever. We would have freedom to stand up, dust ourselves off and try again. 

Our past is a chance for a teaching moment, it should not be a punishment moment. Discipline comes with love, mercy and grace. Punishment comes with hate, evil and condemnation.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t live as a slave to them for the rest of your life. Christ has opened the door of your cell, but you have to step out into the sunshine.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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No Sell-By-Date

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

One of my favorite author’s is Sheila Walsh.  In her book, In the Middle of the Mess she says,  “I believe it’s possible to be healed and to fall again and again. Grace doesn’t come with a sell-by date.”

I chuckle every time I read that. Grace Doesn’t Come With a Sell-By-Date!

I want to run around screaming AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

We are not perfect! Even as Christians we make mistakes! We are going to make mistakes.  We are works in progress. Don’t believe me, read Philippians 1:6 again.  It says God has begun a good work in me and is continuing to work in me until He is finally finished.  When will He be finished? When Christ Jesus returns!  

Tabetha translation: I am trying my best to do the best I can with what I have.  I will make mistakes.  I will own up to those mistakes.  I will fall down.  I will get up again. I will keep tying.  I AM HUMAN! 

The quicker we can all except that fact, the quicker we can move on to every one around us is also human.  They will also make mistakes. The quicker we will learn to live together and work together.

I recently read a sign that said instead of gossiping about someone put them on your prayer list. Extend them some of that no expiration date GRACE! The good LORD knows you and I are certainly going to need some.

We may be spoiled by Grace, but thank you LORD that Grace never spoils!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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You Are Guac!

Psalms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I recently read a story about a speaker who stepped out on stage and pulled a $100 bill out of his pocket.  He asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Hands shot up all over.

He then took the bill and crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, stomped on it and got it all dirty and nasty.  Once again, he asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Again, the same hands shot up all over the place.

The speaker when on to explain this is why God still wants you! It doesn’t matter how beat up, tore up, dirty or crumpled you are, He still sees your worth! Just like no matter what is done to that $100 bill, nothing changes its worth. Nothing will ever change our worth to God!

If someone hasn’t told you today, you should know you are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made and God makes WONDERFUL things. I guarantee in God’s eyes you are the guacamole NOT the salsa!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Wait Like an Eagle!

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I remember growing up in what you would call a small country church.  One of my favorite songs we would sing was based on Isaiah 41:31

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. 
They shall mount up with wings as eagles. 
They shall run and not grow weary. 
They shall walk and not faint. 
Teach me Lord, 
Teach Lord to wait.

For those of you who may not know, I am excellent at waiting. NOT! NO WAY! NO HOW!

So, why in the world would I ever love to sing this hymn?

To be honest, it is because of my mom.  This has always been one of her favorite verses and she always loved singing it. She always managed to remind me of it when I wasn’t being so patient. 

A few years ago, when we were marathon training we would bring this verse up to each other when we were feeling a little low on energy. Even as I ran the marathon that year, I kept humming and singing that song over and over to keep me going.

My biggest problem with waiting is I feel powerless when I am in the middle of something. I have to do something to get started.  I have to do something to finish up a project.  In the middle, not so much to do. I just have to wait. 

And when I wait, my mind starts to wonder and come up with all kinds of problems. I play the “what if” games or “I should have”. I think of all the ways I could have screwed up somewhere. Fear comes knocking down my door.

Recently, I “stumbled” (OK, God may have pushed a little) on a couple of other verses.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 37:23-24
The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

I realized even during those waiting times, God is holding my hand. I have nothing to fear when I am in a waiting pattern. God will give me strength to see any project to the end. Even if I have screwed up somewhere along the way, HE will make it come out alright.  I have nothing to fear.

This is exactly why when I wait and put all my trust in the LORD, He will strengthen me and give me wings to fly and feet to run and I will not grow weary of waiting.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.