Tag: Depression

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Find My Way Back

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

There are days when you get pummeled from every side. Those are the days you stop and go, “Wait just a minute! Satan you are not going to get away with this.”

I also know Satan is not behind every bad thing that happens to us. First of all, he can’t be everywhere all of the time. Unlike God, he is not omnipresent. Can I please hear an AMEN to that one!

So, what about his little minions? No, I am not referring to those adorable little yellow guys. I, of course, am referring to demons. Yes, I am sure they are around and cause havoc, but they still aren’t behind every bush.

No, I believe sometimes bad things just happen. I also believe there are times when Satan is sitting back laughing because he doesn’t have to lift a finger. We humans are pretty good and creating horrible situations all on our own.

Let’s also get honest here. We can never say the devil made me do it. We always have choices.

I find my students complaining about rules and they inevitable say we have no choice. I remind them they always have choices. They can always choose to not follow the rules. We always have choices, we just have to weigh if the consequences are worth our choice.

Our daily lives are the same as my kiddos. We all have choices and consequences. Many times we just figure the consequences are worth it. We take the wrong path and we find ourselves in trouble. No, the devil did not make me do it. No, the demons didn’t set me up. Even if the last one was true, I was still in the final control. I made the decision. I chose my path.

Here is the rainbow. When we find ourselves lost, we know the direction to look. UP! We will find the great navigator just waiting for us to ask directions back to safety. He is waiting with his grace and loving warm arms wide open. He has the perfect directions to get you home and he will even light the path!

Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Fear Fighting

Psalm 16:8 (GNT)
I am always aware of the LORD’S presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me.

Fears come in many forms.  It is more than normal to be afraid of things.

My daughter is in the Air Force.  She has been trained to kill.  She takes plains apart and puts them back together.  However, she sees the tiniest of spiders and she is grabbing her AK47 to take it out! By the way, I have a male co-worker who would grab an entire arsenal and follow right alongside her, so don’t think it is just a girl thing.

I have an irrational fear of sharks.  I had the “pleasure” of being in Jaws 3 as an extra and although I never did a scene with Bruce (the animatronic shark), I am still petrified of great whites.  I mean seriously, I have to keep my eyes closed in Finding Nemo when Bruce is on the screen.

Fear of failure or embarrassing yourself can keep you from doing great things. I know I have been so scared because I felt totally inadequate.  As a matter of fact, you are reading a fear of mine right now.  I was so afraid to open up a blog and begin writing.  There are still days I sit and look at my computer and wonder who I think I am.  Who wants to read anything I would write? I often have to take a deep breath and remember it isn’t about me.  It is what God has called me to do. I just need to show up and do my best and let him handle the rest.

Another form of fear is found in my PTSD.  Lately, I have had some major struggles in this area.  I have woke up with night terrors and not sure where I am or what just happened.  After a recent sleepless night, because I refused to go back to sleep after waking up from a dream, I reached for a book to read and came across Psalm 16:8.

Through this verse, God reminded me I wasn’t alone.  My demons could not hurt me.  They were just playing with my mind again.

Now, this next part may seem a little silly to some people, and that is fine.  This idea just isn’t for you, but it worked for me and so I am sharing it in case there is someone else who needs to hear it.  The next night, when I went to bed, I was once again struck with the fear of sleeping.  So, I created a verse image and put it on my iPad and kept in on next to my bed.  This way when I woke up the first thing I would see was the verse and I could read it and fight back against my fear.  I also put my bible on my nightstand.  I know in all reality it is physically just a book, but sometimes just reaching out and touching it reminds me of who I am and whose presence I am in and who is going to fight my battles.

My demons can never stay in the presence of God.  They cannot win when I remind them of who I am and more importantly who my Father is.  I just have to be made aware of the LORD’s presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me.

I hope this helps someone out there. Remember no matter what your fear is, God is there too!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Finding Peace in Exhaustion

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep,  for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Going back to school can be exhausting for everyone students, parents and yes, teachers. Add to that the ever popular back to school virus that inevitably makes it rounds and you have some very exhausted and cranky people.

It has been a very long week. My poor husband has had to put up with a lot. I have been sick for two weeks. I am usually OK for the first week of being sick, but then the sick of being sick sets in and I get cranky.

It puts me in a tailspin and quite frankly strengthens my depression. I push all day to keep it together and then I head home. Home, where I can be me and not pretend all is OK anymore. Home, where I can put my smile away. Home, where I can lay down and sleep in peace.

Well, I can at least lay down. When I am in this mood it is so hard to find peace.

I recently found Psalm 4:8. When I am struggling to find that peace, I remind myself it is already there. It is all around me. I just have to accept it. This doesn’t come easy, but reciting this verse over and over strengthens me. It gives me the peace to lay down and sleep. I can dwell in the Lord’s safety. It often starts very small, but it does grow.

Are there verses that bring you comfort and strength? I would love to see you share them in the comments. Help strengthen others. Remember we write to leave a part of us behind as a map to those who follow.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved

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Fair Weather Fan

Psalm 28:6

Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.

Last year, the Chicago Cubs found themselves with a lot more fans.  It is amazing how people started crawling out of the nowhere.  I mean people that didn’t know their infield from their outfield where all of a sudden Chicago Cubs experts.

It is easy to be a fan when your team is on top.  It takes a true fan to stick with them the other 108 years!

Unfortunately, so many people see Christianity the same way.  God is awesome when things are going your way.  When you can stand on that mountain and shout the joys and praises to him all is good, but what about those dark days?  Those days when it feels like this:

Imprisoned
Shackled
Darkness surrounds
Deep down inside

Those words are harsh
They cut like a knife
No longer in control
Deep down inside

Why don’t they stop
Can’t they see the pain
It’s so dark
Deep down inside

The tears are streaming
The anger is raging
Why is it so dark
Deep down inside

I hear my voice
I try to scream
I am here in the dark
Deep down inside

Too late now
The damage is done
I must wait in the dark
Deep down inside

The light will come
It always does
But for now, I wait
Deep down inside

Can you praise God for hearing your cry even when he hasn’t rescued you from it?  Can you thank him before the answer comes? Can you praise him when the answer is no?

Christian’s don’t live a life of rainbows and unicorns.  Dark days come and dark days go.  Continuing to praise the Lord through it all is what makes you a true fan.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

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Give Me A Pen!

Romans 15:13 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I need a pen
Give me a pen
I must write
My soul is swirling
My thoughts are jumbled

I am a complete mess
Nothing makes sense
My nerves are raw
My body is jittery
I am overwhelmed

I can’t control this feeling
The darkness haunts me
It is coming fast
I can’t stay ahead of it
How long will this last

I have the shakes
I want to pick a fight
A blood thirst some would call it
I need to calm down
I need to take a breath

I need a pen
Give me a pen
I must put my thoughts down.

~Tabetha Frick

Yesterday was a strong day for my depression.  I felt it creeping up on me.  Stalking me like a lion. I pleaded with God to take it away.  I didn’t want to walk down that path again.  I was afraid to walk down that path again.  I am always afraid I won’t find my way back.

Satan loves to play with me that way.  He loves to use my fears against me.  He loves to make the darkness swirl around me and try to strangle me. He likes to try and snuff out all my hope. My joy. My peace. He drives me to the one place he never wants to find me. Writing!

People ask me why I write.  I write because I have to.  God has placed this need inside of me.  It is my escape hatch from the darkness.  I fall on my knees and pray.  I grab a pen and just write.  Some of my darkest and yet most beautiful poetry has come out of these horrible places.

It is there in that desolate place I find joy and peace as I learn to trust in the God of hope. It is in that deserted place I begin to overflow with hope because of the power of the Holy Spirit.

I write because I need to leave a piece of me as a map for those who travel behind me.  I need to let them know they are not alone and that I pray over them constantly,

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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No Hope?

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

This week my World History students have been studying five major religions of the world. I took away a valuable idea from all of them.

The key focus of my lesson was how do our religious beliefs influence the way we live our lives. At first, my students struggled with the concept. Then we began to talk about each religion’s idea of what happens to us when we died. They quickly realized all the religions had one thing in common, hope and faith in the fact there was something else after we died.

What I took away from this lesson was a sadness for those who do not have this hope and faith. I can’t imagine walking through life without either of those. Why would I get up in the morning? Why would I even try to live my life or improve upon it?

I suffer from depression and PTSD. I know what those dark hopeless days feel like. It is Isaiah 40:31 I often turn to remind myself that my hope is in the Lord and he will renew my strength.  He will give me wings to soar far from this depression and I will be able to run and walk again.  Without that hope, I would stay crumpled up emotionally and sometimes physically in the fetal position unable to go on.

I am so thankful for my religious beliefs.  They bring me comfort and strength.  They do influence the way I live my life.  I want to share this hope and faith with everyone I meet.   I pray for those who have nothing to believe in.

I leave you tonight with this one thought:

If there is no God and Heaven when we die, what did I truly miss out on while I lived?

If there is a God and Heaven when we die, what will I miss out on forever?

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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I Need You to Just “Be”

Psalms 40:1
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

I sat and listened as my friend poured out her heart and soul.  She was devastated, frustrated, angry and felt totally alone.

I remember a few years back this same friend had come to my rescue.  After a simple phone call at 10:00 at night, she showed up on my doorstep.  She wasn’t there to fix anything.  She was there just “to be”!

This concept of not fixing something can be very difficult for some people. Not to sound sexist or anything, I know for men it can be extremely difficult.  They are naturally born fixers and problem solvers.  However, there are many times we women don’t need “fixes” or even solutions.  We just need someone “to be”.

There are many times in life where there are no words to fix things. I am reminded of a song by Jason Gray, Not Right Now.

Don’t tell me when I’m grieving
That this happened for a reason
Maybe one day we’ll talk about the dreams that had to die
For new ones to come alive
But not right now

While I wait for the smoke to clear
You don’t even have to speak
Just sit with me in the ashes here
And together we can pray for peace
To the one acquainted with our grief

I know someday
I know somehow
I’ll be okay
But not right now
Not right now

This song always reminds me of Psalms 40:1. There are many times I wait for the Lord because I just want him to listen to my cry.  This verse tells us he turns to us and listens.  He is just there. We are not alone.  We are not forgotten.  He is listening. He is just “being”.

My response to my friend was simple.  I told her I was sorry. I wish I could fix it, but I know I can’t.  I could give her a million “Christian” things to say and verses of encouragement, but I knew they wouldn’t help, right now. So, I offered to just listen and empathize with her. I told her when she needed me to be her cheerleader and encourager I would, but today I was just going to sit with her and be miserable with her so she was not alone.  I was just going “to be”.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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WWJD

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

The WWJD movement is so cliche now that it is almost cliche to say that it is cliche. That made so much more sense in my head ;o)

What would Jesus do is a question or phrase we often pass around when we don’t know what else to say. How often do we REALLY ask that question and expect an answer or seek an answer?

Have you found yourself in a painful situation and seriously stopped and asked what would Jesus do if he were in my shoes right now? Well, let me tell you what he would do.

He would feel pain (John 19:1 & 2)

He would feel sorrow (John 11:35)

He would feel betrayal (Luke 22:48)

He would feel fear (Luke 22:44)

He would feel anger (Matthew 21:12)

He would feel alone (Matthew27:46)

What do all of these things have in common? He would FEEL! It is Ok to go through something and feel pain, sorrow, betrayal, fear, anger or alone. Jesus felt these things also.

Today, he is feeling them with you. He is going before you. He is walking along beside you. He is not going to leave you and he certainly will not forsake you. Feel your feelings. Walk through them. Don’t be afraid of them and don’t get discouraged with yourself.

Next time you are going through a rough patch in your life, ask yourself what would Jesus do. Then remember what he would do. He would feel and keep on moving!

Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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H.U.G.S

Psalm 119:130

The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.

That is me…S-I-M-P-L-E…simple!

I like the straightforward, easy, uncomplicated, uninvolved, effortless, painless, undemanding, elementary, candid, frank, honest, sincere, plain, absolute, unqualified, bald, stark, unadorned, unvarnished, unembellished, unpretentious, unsophisticated, ordinary, unaffected, unassuming, natural, honest-to-goodness, and some might even say country-fried.

So why is it life never seems to be any of those?

I think one reason is we tend to try so hard to make it simple, but we just end up complicating everything. For instance, have you ever thought of just relaxing? Sounds simple enough right? BUT….

Where am I going to relax? Stay at home? Which room? Living room? Couch or chair?

What am I going to do to relax? Read a book? What book? Where are my glasses? Maybe I will watch TV? Netflix? Hulu? Amazon? Vudu? Maybe I should rent a movie? What movie? Do I go to Redbox? Video Store? Back to Amazon?

What should I wear to relax? Am I in a PJ’s mood? Sweats? Jeans? Is it hot or cold? Do I need a blanket? Which blanket?

What should I drink? Do I need a drink? Coffee? Tea? Hot? Cold? Soda? Water? Which glass?

Do I turn my phone off or ignore it? What if it is an emergency and someone needs me? Maybe I should just silence it.

Seriously, I think it might be easier to order a cup of coffee at Starbucks! One venti, double shot, extra cinnamon dolce latte with almond milk, hot, please!

Believe it or not, according to various internet sources it is estimated that an adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day. How can anything ever be simple if we average that many decisions just to make it through one day?

Well, I might not be able to help you make everything simple, but I can help you find your answers. It is as simple as turning to God and His word.

The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple (Psalm 119:130 NIV).

God has said we can come to him with every decision. Yes, you read that right EVERY decision. He is there and wants to help us with all of life, not just the big “Christiany” things.

So instead of K.I.S.S – Keep It Simple Stupid, let’s shoot for H.U.G.S – Help Us, God, to Simplify!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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But I Don’t Wanna!

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

But I don’t wanna do that!

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How many times have you heard someone say something similar? If you have kids, I can guarantee you have heard it at least ten times today. As a teacher, I can tell you I can multiply that number by thirty and some days even more.

How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking I don’t want to do that? Hmmm…yeah for me probably ten times a day again might just be accurate.

I really hate it when I get stuck in one of those moods where I start thinking negatively about everything. I mean I get pretty darn close to a full on temper tantrum. Reality check, some days it isn’t close. Some days I go straight to the temper tantrum.

Recently I was having one of those days when I stumbled upon Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Talk about OUCH!

Once the burn started to subside, I realized there were lots of things in life I didn’t necessarily want to do. There are times when doing said things are very inconvenient. Sorry, I will never enjoy doing laundry, dishes or cleaning a bathroom. Some days I really want to stay in my pj’s and not go to work. Somedays I just don’t want to adult anymore!

It is in those times, I have to remember it isn’t all about me. Someone has to get these things done. I really enjoy pleasing the Lord. So, when I get my focus off of me and onto him, it does make the task doable.

I won’t lie. They still are not things that make me happy. However, I can concentrate on trying to make God smile.

Besides, I am definitely happy when they are done!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.