Tag: Depression

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Peace, Bah Humbug!

Mark 6:31 (NIV)
Then Jesus suggested, “Let’s get away from the crowds for a while and rest.” For so many people were coming and going that they scarcely had time to eat.

I’m afraid I’m going to say something that’s not very popular.  Some days, I hate  Christmas. I know this sounds really bad. I’m really not a Scrooge. There are just some days I feel pressured during this season.

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Here is why…

#1- I am a teacher. I spend the first part of December wrapping up lessons and preparing for semester finals. I deal with kiddos that finally wake up after 16 weeks and realize, yes she will fail me if I don’t turn things in. Maybe she will let me make up 16 weeks of work in a couple of days.

#2- I appreciate all the people who put countless hours and love into preparing parties, secret Santas, cookie exchanges, and other get-togethers. I feel awful turning people down but I can only be in so many places at once. I only have so much money to spend and I love you all but my grandkids come first.

#3- During this season, I also have play obligations and church functions to add to my evergrowing list of places to be and yet I must find time to decorate my own house and make it look all cheery.

#4- My family also celebrates Hanukkah so there goes 8 more nights of must be somewhere at sometime.

#5- Add to all of this the shopping, cooking, wrapping, mailing and shrink my heart and call me the Grinch! Bah humbug!

I know I am not alone in these feelings. I also know my schedule may seem pretty empty compared to others.

Can I offer a little advice?

Breathe! That’s it. Just. Breathe.

I could do my best impression of Linus and recite the reason for the season. I could read you the Christmas Story. But I am not going to.

I am not going to add to your stressed-out brain. I know people mean well, but seriously I don’t need guilt piled on top of my to-do list. What I need is a minute to call my own and recharge.

I need a moment to make my cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate and curl up with God and say thank you. Thank you for my moment of peace on Earth.

Take time this busy season for you. Fill up on some peace, so you can spread goodwill toward men.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Who is driving the bus?

Psalms 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

I went to a new doctor today.  After many years of seeing the same doctor, I had gotten quite comfortable with myself.  My doctor was a good friend of mine.  Unfortunately, he had to move his practice far enough away that I was no longer able to see him.

I have known about this move for six months.  I have been on this new doctor’s list for about 4 months or so, but I had not gone in to see him.  I hate meeting new doctors.

Now, I do realize no one likes to go to the doctors.  I mean we don’t usually wake up and say…gee I wonder what my doctor is doing today.  I think I should make an appointment to see him.

However, I HATE going to the doctor’s office and I REALLY HATE seeing a new doctor!!!!!!

I have quite a few issues.  If you have read my older blogs you know one of them is seizures.  I have not seen a neurologist in over 10 years because I gave up on them.  So, I really hate discussing that problem, but I was expecting it.  I also have two types of arthritis, asthma and Crohn’s disease. Again, I don’t like going over my history and what I am currently doing about them, but I was expecting it.

What I wasn’t expecting to discuss, my PTSD.

Before you ask, no my PTSD is not combat PTSD. I was not in the military. I wish my doctor would have asked that and just left it there. But NO! He wants to dive into what trauma in my life could have caused my PTSD.

Here is my theory on PTSD.  It is kind of like Fight Club (movie reference). The first rule about Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club!  Yep! That sums up my feeling on my PTSD! Unfortunately, this new doctor did not agree.

***INSERT MELTDOWN HERE***

Now you would think someone who is writing her dissertation on PTSD was comfortable with her own fight.  Well, most of the time I am.  Unfortunately, the nature of PTSD does not leave you in control.  You do not get to pick and choose how you will feel or respond. I have spoken in front of people before concerning my PTSD.  Today, however, was just a day that PTSD was driving the bus and it was racing out of control very quickly!

Flashbacks flooded my head.  I was crying the entire way home.  None of my mind techniques would work.  My service dog clung to me to try and make me feel safe and distract my mind.

I would love to tell you my first thoughts were some beautifully worded prayer that would tickle the ear of any Christian.

Nope!

I screamed at God! I screamed, “Why?”

I screamed, “How could you?”

I screamed, “Where are you?”

I screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS!!!!”

What did I hear back? The Holy Spirit brought to my mind Psalms 29:11.   He said I am giving you strength because you are mine.  I am blessing you with peace.  Accept it. Sit back and let me take control of the bus!

My heart stopped racing.  My anger subsided.  Reality began to return.

Thank you, Lord, for your strength and peace. You were with during the trauma.  You held my hand and screamed and cried with me.  You still hold my hand as you fill me with your strength and peace.

My voice has been heard by many young men and women.  My story has been shared before.  I have been the voice of the voiceless.  I wish I would not have gone through my trauma, but I am glad that I survived. For if my journey can save even one person from giving in to the darkness, then I would gladly do it all over again.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Learn to Fly!

2 Timothy 4:18
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

I am reading Anxious For Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World, by Max Lucado. In his book, he talks about an acrobatic team.  The flyer explains how the key to their success is remembering he is a flyer and his partner is the catcher.  His job is just to jump and let his partner do all the catching.  It is dangerous for him to try and catch his catcher when he jumps.  It simply is not his job!

Max goes on to compare that to our relationship with God.  We have to put our full trust in him.  Let God do his job! “Your Father has never dropped anyone. He will not drop you. His grip is sturdy and his hands are open.” It is not our job to control things.  we must let go and Let God!  As Max puts it, a wonderful thing happens when we let go and let God, we FLY!

Paul went through some pretty horrific moments in his lifetime.  If anyone deserved to have fear and trepidation in their walk with God, I am saying Paul had reasons.  However, Paul never questioned any of the positions he was left in.  Not when he was stoned, ran out of town, or thrown in prison several times.  Instead, he went out of his way to encourage Timothy and the church by saying,

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (2 Timothey 4:18)

Wow!  Can you sit back and let that sink in for just a moment? I mean really let that sink in!  No matter what we are facing in our lives, God is there. No job, God is there. Cancer, God is there. Divorce, God is there.  He will rescue you from every evil attack and will bring you safely to his heavenly kingdom.

What does that rescue look like?  I don’t know.

How long will it take? I don’t know.

What I do know is he has promised to catch me.  All I have to do is Fly!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

 

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Hang on! Call on! Move on!

First I would like to apologize for not blogging the past couple of days. I have been battling the stomach flu.

It is amazing just how horrible you can feel from a little itty bitty microscopic thing! This dude can bring you to your knees in a matter of minutes! I am not ashamed to say I found myself in the fetal position praying God heal me or take me now, don’t leave me like this!

I was physically in pain, but have you ever been in so much emotional pain that you felt this way. Well, I know a couple of guys in the bible that did!

Jonah was:

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
–Jonah 4:5-11

Elijah also had his issues:

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the Gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die.

“I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”

1 Kings 19:1-4

If these two great prophets can have issues that make them feel overwhelmed and distressed why don’t we think it is OK for us to feel that way sometimes too?

We are all going to go through periods of our lives that seem like too much to carry. The important thing is to hang on, call on and move on.

Hang on…James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Call on…Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Move on…Philippians 3:14 I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus.

Don’t give up! Never Surrender! Simply Hang on, Call on and Move on!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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In the Darkest Hour, There is Still Hope in the Light

Micah 7:7-8
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.

I do not want to blog today
My day has been so long
I don’t know what to say today
Everything seems so wrong

My anxiety is running high today
My energy is running low
I sit here in the darkness today
I‘ve no where else to go

I will wait right here for you today
My hope in you is strong
The light will come back today
I hope my waits not long

I really did not want to blog today, but God reminded me of why I started blogging in the first place.  I wanted to be real with people.  Being real doesn’t only happen when the sky is filled with rainbows and unicorns. No, it is also on the days where I feel surround by complete darkness.

Today I am in a bad place, but I am OK.  I am learning to follow Micah 7:7-8. I will sit and watch and wait for the Lord.  I have hope my God will hear me.  Don’t count me out yet, my friends. Satan has not won.  I will rise.  The Lord will light my way.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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A World Without Hope

Psalm‬ ‭94‬:‭18‬
18 When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. 19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. 

I cannot imagine a world with no hope. I live with times in my life of severe depression and anxiety. The only thing that pulls me through is hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better. This too shall pass. Light comes in the morning. These are the concepts I hang onto to keep me grounded.

However, I know there are people out there who do not have any hope. All they see around them is hate, evil and darkness. For them, there is no hope that anything will change. This too shall not pass for them. The light never comes. How awful to walk that path. To always feel alone.

To some, Christians look like fools because we stand on this hope. We seem to always find the silver lining. We see the glass half-full. People believe we are naïve and gullible.

However, even if any of that is accurate, so what? What is wrong with being hopeful? What is so wrong with being happy?

It takes hope to be creative. It took hope to convince everyone the world is round. It took hope to put some ragtag militia together to fight elite British troops to create a new country. It took hope to invent a phone without wires that fits in your pocket or on your wrist. It took hope to sit down and write a blog.

Face it, a world without hope is nothing. I think I will stick with being a Christian and hanging on to my hope

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved

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It Is A Bad Day, Not A Bad Life!

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Yep, it has been one of those days!

OK, so everything that has happened has been 1st world problems. I mean there was no world catastrophe that happened to me. It was a bunch of little things, but little things have a way of piling up into mounds.

Two rejection notices, cold sores covering half of my upper limit that keeps breaking open, a bad haircut, tendonitis flare up, and a generally burnt out feeling at my job equals an Alexander Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

So how does one survive? You scream, cry, eat the chocolate and when you are done, pull out 1 Peter 5:6-7.

Sorry Lord for my letting my issues pile up instead of turning to you right off. I know this life is filled with ups and downs. I also know I am human. Thank you for your grace and understanding. Thank you for listening to my temper tantrum and letting me cry. Mostly, thank you for picking up the pieces and setting me straight once again.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

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Get Grooving to Get Satan Moving!

Psalms 18:3
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

Today I am struggling to find my gratitudes. It has been a particularly rough day. I am fighting an ear infection. It has spiked a fever in me which has led to seizure activity. That is not so unusual for me. Illness equals seizures.

What has been very vexing is that my body has chosen to play games. It seems to be doing the lovely childish game of “You’re going to seize, nope psych!” It hurts! Imagine a giant charlie horse from head to toe. My muscles are so tight and they won’t release until I have the seizure.

As of this writing, I am still waiting!

I find at times my spirit seizes up also. Satan can render me immovable. I find myself unable to pray or read my bible. I feel sick. In my experience, the only way out of this situation is through praise and worship.

Yes, praise is a weapon and it happens to be my weapon of choice when dealing with Satan’s tactics of oppression.

I would love to tell you that I immediately grab this weapon and wield it willfully and methodically, but I would be lying. As a matter of fact, I often have to force myself to start with a little humming. It comes out quite strained through gritted teeth, but soon I relax. My foot starts tapping and before you know it I am belting out some of my favorite tunes.

If you will pardon the expression, “I get my groove back!”

You see victory over dark powers comes through offering praise and affirming your hope in deliverance. Satan can’t stay around a soul praising and worshipping God. So call upon the LORD – who is worthy to be praised – so you will be delivered from your enemies!

If praise and worship are the bow, the songs must be the arrows.  What do you have stashed in your quiver?  What are some of the songs that really get you grooving and Satan moving?

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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See Me

Hebrews 12:2
We must focus our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

God sees me. He knows all about my struggles. He sees the drama and pain. God has a plan for me. He has a path for me. he knows the bumpss and hills and even the valleys and mountains that I will climb.

God will be there for every step. His love is unfailing and his grace abounds. His promises never change and he is faithful always and forever.

So, do you want to hear the good news? He is there to do the same for you!

Whatever you’re
Facing today…
Whatever helpless or
Hopeless situations
Are around you…
Turn your heart to God
(~Leah Dipacal)

 

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Purposeful Not Perfect

Matthew 24:13–14 MSG

Staying with it—that’s what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You won’t be sorry, and you’ll be saved. All during this time, the good news—the Message of the kingdom will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country. And then the end will come.

I am reading a book called Uncommon by Carey Scott. She points out that we evangelize with our actions just as much, if not more than, with our words. I don’t say this to put pressure on you. As a matter of fact, Carey also says in her book that perfection is a lie. We should not strive to live perfect lives but instead purposeful lives.

I spent way too much of my life and energy trying to be perfect. I spend even more time beating myself up because I never meet the expectations. My need for perfection drove me into depression. I am learning to be purposeful. As a matter of fact, I spend some days being purposeful about being purposeful.

When I am being purposeful, it is OK when things don’t go my way. It is OK when I make mistakes. When I am being purposeful everything becomes a Chance for God to shine through. It is a time for my actions to shine brighter than my words.

It is here that I wanted to write a beautiful prayer. However, instead of trying to be perfect I am going to be purposeful. I am going to leave you with Carey’s words instead.

Lord, help me be a light in the world—not perfectly, but purposefully. Help my words and actions point others to You. Sometimes sharing my faith makes me anxious because the world is becoming intolerant. Would You give me the courage to evangelize anyway? Would You help me preach with my words and my actions? I am available to You and will walk through the doors You open. I want to be part of the reason Your name is praised in all the world. Please give me the boldness and confidence to not cower but instead, stand strong as I praise my Father in heaven. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Uncommon
Carey Scott

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.