Timing is Everything

Psalm 31:15
My Times are in your hands.


Andrew Murray was a South African pastor who visited England in 1895. While there, an old back injury flared up causing him to go on bed rest. The lady of the house he was staying at came to him one day because of a friend of hers was in bad shape. She asked Murray if he had any words of encouragement for her friend. He quickly handed her a piece of paper he had been writing on with words of encouragement for himself. It said,
 
“In times of trouble say:
First- God brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place. In that, I will rest.
Next-He will keep me in His love and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child.
Then-He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow.
Last-In his good time He can bring me out again-how and when he knows.
I am here-By God’s appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.”
 
In this age of microwaves, drive-thrus, and instant pots, we want everything NOW! We would do good to remember that everything is in God’s hands and God’s timing. He knows where we are at and what we are going through. He knew we would be there long before we did. He will be there through it all and with us all the time. His love and grace will see us through, even in our darkest pit.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Not Alone, Even in the Pit

Romans 8:38-39 
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
When I was a little kid, I would sometimes walk in my sleep. Most of the time it was OK. I would just end up somewhere in my house, wake up and then go back to bed. However, this time I wasn’t so lucky. I was not at home. I wasn’t even in a house.
 
I was about eight and my parents took me camping. We were at a campground and our spot was on the other side of the park from the bathrooms. I guess I needed to use the bathroom and so I got up, left the camper and started walking in the middle of the night. When I woke up, I realized where I was and started to panic. I was all alone and now I had to walk all the way back in the dark with lots of scary noises all around me.
 
There are times in my life now when PTSD, depression or anxiety sets in and I feel alone. The darkness all around me is deafening. The silence is solid. I retreat to my hole away from everyone. I build my walls all around. I find myself in the pit once again.
 
Much like my night at the campground, I am not alone. As I stepped out into the darkness, I began to pray and talk to God. He was with me in that bathroom and he walked with all the way back to the camper. Deep in the pit he is also waiting for me to call out his name. All I need to do is turn my head towards him and he will swoop in and hold my hand. WE will wait together. WE will walk out together. I will never be alone.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Holding Things Together

Colossians 1:17 
He is before all things and in him all things hold together
 
I wonder around from thing to thing
Place to place
Person to person.
Nothing makes sense
My mind is disjointed
Scattered
Twisted

I feel overwhelmed
My surroundings are blurred
People are talking to me
My brain rejects all stimuli
It can’t compute
Not one more thing
I am going to explode

I am melting down
My breathing quickens
I want to scream
I can’t convey the message
Between my voice and my brain
All is lost
I fall apart

Too Much! Too Much
TOO MUCH!
I shake my head
I clamp my hands over my ears
I close my eyes
NO MORE!
My voice finally cries out.

I AM DONE!
TIME OUT!
GO AWAY!
LEAVE ME BE!
TOO MUCH!
NO MORE!
IT IS OVER!

Deep breath
Sit down
Let the world go on
Without me
Like a commuter train
Whizzing by
Destinations yet to be seen

Jesus is before 
All things
And
In Him
All things
Are held together
Even Me

Jesus will hold
This pile of shattered pieces
Nothing will be lost
I can let go for a moment
And let the world go past
It is OK
He is holding on

I don’t have to anymore
I will be fine
The sun will 
Shine again
And my brain will
Let it in.
I will survive.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

The Scream by Edward Munch

He’s Got Your Back Even in the Dark

Psalms 39

Psalms 139: 5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

When depression takes over, you can feel like you are engulfed in the darkness. No one can see you. Life just seems to go on around you and no one cares.

I can promise you someone does see you and someone does cares.

God is always there. He always sees you and he always cares even when we don’t see him or feel him. He has our six. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me (Psalms 139:5).

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You (Psalms 139:7-12).

Even in the depths of the pit that surrounds you, God can see you bright as day. He has his eye on you. You are not alone. Call out for him. Let your voice be heard. He will see you through.

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Yet I Will Rejoice

Habakkuk 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior.

When depression, anxiety, and PTSD hit, they take me down, down deep into the pit. I feel like I am drug swiftly and hard. I grab for anything around to hold on to, but it breaks within my grasp. I can see I am losing touch with reality, but I cannot stop it.

The weight is heavy on my heart and mind. The darkness surrounds and swallows me up. It is too late. No turning back now. I must survive.

How long will it last?
How deep will I go?
Will I find my way back?
Am I lost forever this time?

I don’t know. I need to focus on surviving this moment.
I need to laugh. I need to smile. I need to fight back.

I’m too tired. It hurts. I have nothing left in me.

Then, I hear it, a small distant voice. I am not sure if I am imagining it. It is so faint. “Let Go. Let me hold you.”

Soon, I catch a glimpse of a very faint light. A flicker. It takes all my remaining strength to focus on this beautiful sound and light. I fight the urge to turn away. Then I let go. I don’t fight. I just sit and wait.

A familiar peace starts warming my soul. The light brightens. The voice gets louder. It soon repeats in my heart, “yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior” (Habakkuk 3:18).

My lips tremble at first. My voice is silent. No air passes my vocal cords, not even a squeak. I am being choked and cannot scream out for help.

I press on with determination from deep within. “Let your voice be heard” starts pounding now, in my head. LET! YOUR! VOICE! BE! HEARD!

My lips part. They begin to move, “yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior.” Again! AGAIN! A-G-A-I-N!

My voice is now booming. The darkness struggles to hold on. It loses its grip. It scrambles and tightens its talons, but I slip through.

My strength returns. I stand up tall and straight. The light around me is so bright. The voice is loud and harsh and together we dispel the darkness.

I AM FREE!

             Black Canary Cry ~DC Comics

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Battle in the Pit

Psalm 77 

 Psalms 77:12 (NIV) I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.

Those of us with mental illness do not have a corner on the market on anxiety and depression. As a matter of fact, recent studies say 1 in 10 Americans have suffered from depression in the last year. We all battle with sadness and fears and we all end up in the pit sometimes. You are not alone!

So where do we turn when out trust in God seems to waiver? When answers don’t come immediately, and God seems so far away? What should we do when rescue doesn’t come, and we begin to slip back into “Why Me?” We begin to doubt God loves us and cares for us. We feel as if God is rejecting us. Does God even love me anymore? Will God never again come to my rescue and bring me peace?

Asaph faced the same questions in Psalm 77. He found himself crying out to God for help when he was in distress. He talks of being anxious and not finding comfort. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t find the words to express what was going on (verses 1-4). He followed all the teachings we have heard such as Philippians 4:6, “do not be anxious…by prayer and petition… present your requests” and “Humble yourselves… cast all your anxiety on him” (1 Peter 5:6 & 7) and yet no relief comes.

Then we hit rock bottom (verses 7-9). The pit begins to close in on us and we start wondering if God has forgotten about us. In just a few chapters over in chapter 88, Asaph describes this time as being “counted among those who go down to the pit” (vs. 4) and “put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths” (vs 6). Just when it feels there is no way any light will ever penetrate our soul again; a thought comes to mind. Do you remember when…?

Do you remember the time you were running late, you had to park at a meter only to find you had no change, but by the grace of God, the meter still had an hour left on it? Or the time, you pumped your gas and ran in to pay when you realize you forgot your money, and someone offered to pay? What about the time you felt so alone and down on yourself and someone smiled and told you how lovely your outfit was today? These are God winks! These are weapons to defeat the enemy.

When we step back and take a moment to remember all of the things God has brought into our lives, all the times he has saved us, we take our eyes off the problem. We are reminded just how great our God is (Psalm 77:13). We revel in his display of power among our lives (vs 14).

No, peace may not come right away. Our answer may still be on the horizon. We may have to wait it out in the pit for just a little while longer, but now we have a weapon to battle with while we are there. We have something to hang on to. We have hope because of all the great things God has done in the past. We have hope that he will restore us once again and make his face shine on us that we may be saved again (Psalm 80:7).

 Prayer:  Thank You, Father, for all the miracles you have brought into our lives. Thank you for hearing our cries and prayers from the pit and being right there with us. Help us to always remember just how much you love us and are there for us. Bring to our memories Your manly faithful acts in the past, so we can take our eyes off the current problem and put them where they belong, on You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Your Turn: 

Choose your weapon! What event from your past will you choose for encouragement, to battle in the pit? Share your comments below. You never know, your story might be the one to save someone else.

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Just Be Held

Isaiah 26

Key Verse: Isaiah 26:3-4 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

I was deflated when I read the words “whose minds are steadfast”. With mental illness, there is no steadfast in my head. Anxiety, depression, PTSD swirl around forever. Darkness, death, and what feels like pure evil are always a single breath away.

Then, I stopped and researched the word steadfast. In this verse, the original Greek word is samak. Its meaning was not what I thought.

Webster says steadfast is an adjective that means loyal, faithful, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, resolutely, or dutifully firm and unwavering.

Samak, on the other hand, is a verb that means to brace, to lean upon, rely upon, gain confidence, refresh, or strengthen.

The Greek word for mind in this passage is yeser which simply means an inclination, disposition, motivation, or desire.

With this little bit of knowledge, I now look at these verses an entirely different way. God is not telling me my mind has to be committed or dependable. No! He is telling me to take an action. I need to be trying to lean on him, rely on him. This reminds me of my favorite Casting Crowns song, Just Be Held.

We need to let go and just be held. Being held is the perfect peace God is giving to those, in this passage, who learn to lean on Him!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Let Your Voice Be Heard

2 Corinthians

Key Verse: 2 Corinthians 1:8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sister, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.

A friend recently posted one of those “please read me then copy and post to your page and leave me a note when you are done” on Facebook. Now, I am not necessarily one of those people who go around doing this all of the time, but this particular one hit me. I had just read 2 Corinthians and verse mapped 2 Corinthians 1:8. This facebook post struck my heart.

“Some thoughts as we enter the holiday season. It is important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and some of us are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring, loving thoughts right now. May I ask my friends, wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste and post this status to give a moment of support for all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know someone will! I did it for a friend and you can too!!”

When I read this, I was once again reminded it is OK to not be OK, even during holidays. Today we are celebrating Thanksgiving in America. It can be a trying time for some people. I know several families who have just lost a loved one. I also know many families who have stopped seeing each other because of a fight. I have an aunt who will be spending the holiday in the hospital. There are numerous reasons to not be thankful today.

The one thing we need to do as we begin to enter the holiday season is to remember not everyone is so joyous. If that person is you, please use your voice. Let your emotions be heard. Don’t bottle up, put on the happy face, and see your way through it, yet again.

We do not have to be ashamed of reaching the pit of despair, even to the point of suicidal thoughts (despaired life itself).  Life is tough. We are troubled and under great pressure, sometimes far beyond our ability. However, we have hope and faith in God to see us through. When we come through, it is our voice that will help others get through their journeys. It is our duty to not shut up and hide our past. It is our past that will shine the light brightly and lead others to God.

Remember our past helps make us, but it does not define us. Even chocolate cake was once just eggs, butter, and flour, but oh boy, how good is it now!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

The Weary Will Prevail

Proverbs 30

Key Verse: Proverbs 30:1 I am weary, God, but I can prevail. (NIV)

How many times has someone asked you how you are doing and you reply, “Fine” when you want to say, “Awful”? I have often referred to this as being a Pollyanna.  Pollyanna is the main character in the novel Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter and the Disney movie about a girl who always played the glad game. Her father, a missionary, taught her the game one Christmas when instead of getting a doll, she received a pair of crutches from a missionary box. He said you must always look at things and find the good in them. For me, to be a Pollyanna means always pretending everything is okay.

I am not saying we should not look for the good in things. However, as one of my favorite authors, Sheila Walsh, points out, “It is Okay to not be Okay.”

In Proverbs 30, Agur, the author has a great response, I am weary God, but I can prevail (30:1). What he meant is how we often feel as Christians. Yeah, I am not so great today but I am going to keep moving on. By faith and hope, I will look to a better day. Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Proverbs 3:17 says God’s wisdom will take us to pleasant ways and all her paths are peace. I am fond of saying, this doesn’t mean a life filled with unicorns and rainbows. This means assurance in those times of weariness that you will prevail.

The peace God offers is beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7). It is a peace that is propped up by faith and hope. It is a peace that says, “Today I am weary God but I will prevail.”

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.