Category: Bible Studies

This is my journals on my bible studies

Posted on

Not Alone, Even in the Pit

Romans 8:38-39 
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
When I was a little kid, I would sometimes walk in my sleep. Most of the time it was OK. I would just end up somewhere in my house, wake up and then go back to bed. However, this time I wasn’t so lucky. I was not at home. I wasn’t even in a house.
 
I was about eight and my parents took me camping. We were at a campground and our spot was on the other side of the park from the bathrooms. I guess I needed to use the bathroom and so I got up, left the camper and started walking in the middle of the night. When I woke up, I realized where I was and started to panic. I was all alone and now I had to walk all the way back in the dark with lots of scary noises all around me.
 
There are times in my life now when PTSD, depression or anxiety sets in and I feel alone. The darkness all around me is deafening. The silence is solid. I retreat to my hole away from everyone. I build my walls all around. I find myself in the pit once again.
 
Much like my night at the campground, I am not alone. As I stepped out into the darkness, I began to pray and talk to God. He was with me in that bathroom and he walked with all the way back to the camper. Deep in the pit he is also waiting for me to call out his name. All I need to do is turn my head towards him and he will swoop in and hold my hand. WE will wait together. WE will walk out together. I will never be alone.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Holding Things Together

Colossians 1:17 
He is before all things and in him all things hold together
 
I wonder around from thing to thing
Place to place
Person to person.
Nothing makes sense
My mind is disjointed
Scattered
Twisted

I feel overwhelmed
My surroundings are blurred
People are talking to me
My brain rejects all stimuli
It can’t compute
Not one more thing
I am going to explode

I am melting down
My breathing quickens
I want to scream
I can’t convey the message
Between my voice and my brain
All is lost
I fall apart

Too Much! Too Much
TOO MUCH!
I shake my head
I clamp my hands over my ears
I close my eyes
NO MORE!
My voice finally cries out.

I AM DONE!
TIME OUT!
GO AWAY!
LEAVE ME BE!
TOO MUCH!
NO MORE!
IT IS OVER!

Deep breath
Sit down
Let the world go on
Without me
Like a commuter train
Whizzing by
Destinations yet to be seen

Jesus is before 
All things
And
In Him
All things
Are held together
Even Me

Jesus will hold
This pile of shattered pieces
Nothing will be lost
I can let go for a moment
And let the world go past
It is OK
He is holding on

I don’t have to anymore
I will be fine
The sun will 
Shine again
And my brain will
Let it in.
I will survive.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

The Scream by Edward Munch
Posted on

Apathy Gets You Nowhere

Matthew 28:18-20 English Standard Version (ESV)

18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Apathy has never gotten anyone, anywhere! Just sitting there feeling all alone and doing nothing about your current situation only keeps you stuck right where you are right now. It doesn’t bring peace. It doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t find help. Apathy is the enemy. 

Apathy is different than rest. Rest is meant. Rest is planned. Rest is needed. Rest brings peace, clarity, refreshment. Rest is needed. Apathy is not. 

When apathy sneaks up on you, and it always sneaks, reach out. Let your voice be heard. Cry out for help. There is always someone somewhere to help. You are always a phone call away from someone. You are always a few keystrokes away from someone. 

Don’t let apathy tell you that you are all alone in your journey. You are not. I am here and so are lots of other people. We are a team and we are here to help. Most importantly, God is with us all, all of the time. He is leading us.

There is a bible story of a demon named Legion who tries to be all big bad and scary because he has an army of demons with him. Let’s fight back right now. Join with me. We stand and say No! WE are Legion. Together we will stand against apathy. We will fight! 

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

I Get Knocked Down

John 16:20. Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.

There is an old song Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. It repeats the phrase:

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

These words are often floating around in my head. Contrary to what some people may believe when they read my writings or meet me, I don’t have it all figured it out. SPOILER ALERT Life is not all about rainbows and unicorns! I know my life isn’t.

Yes, I have gone through some rough things that I pray and hope no one else ever has to go through. However, I also know there are many people that have gone through it and I must share so they know they are not alone.

I don’t care what it is you are going through, I want you to know YOU are not alone. Someone somewhere has walked that path before. Let your voice be heard. Ask for help. Tell your story. Someone will walk with you. By shouting it out loud and clear, you just may be that one person someone else is looking for.

Even as a Christian, I don’t get to claim life is easy and smooth because I have a God that loves me. Nope! Jesus himself told us in John 16:20 “Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” I want you to take note of the BUT in that sentence. That BUT is our hope! It is what we hang on to. It is our “You are never going to keep me down.”

What I am trying to say is, it is not that I don’t get knocked down. It is not that I don’t stumble and fall. Heck, it is not that I don’t just lay down and give up from time to time. It is not how many times I go down that matters. It is how many times I get back up that counts.

So, if you are stumbling today, grab my hand. We will get back up together!

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Saved in Torment

Psalms 18:4-6 & 16

4 The cords of death entangled me;
    the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
5 The cords of the grave coiled around me;
    the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the Lord;
    I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
    my cry came before him, into his ears.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.

When I put these verses together, I read my life. I read my struggle with mental illness. I read my salvation from suicide.

Today I am thankful there is no pit deep enough, that his love can not reach down and resue me.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

I Bear the Light! What is Your Superpower?

Matthew 5:14-16 (MSG): 1Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

I read the above verses from Matthew this week and jumped for joy! I found a way I can serve God, by serving others. He has created me to be a light in this world filled with darkness. Created to bear light with the power to dispel the darkness wherever I go.

Do you realize what this means? You, my friend, are a superhero! However, this is much more powerful any superhero power! My light is the word of my testimony. It is my past and all of its good and ugly experiences. My voice is my light. It will show the pathway to survive anxiety, depression, and PTSD by leading people to the one true Light of this World.

God did not create us to sit in pews on Sunday morning and the occasional holiday. He did not create us to read and pray, then do nothing about it. He created us to be a light to this world. We come to bear the light of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. We are to open our mouths and share with people, love people, hold people and take them to the one who can heal them and prepare them to be more light in this world.

Whatever experiences you have dealt with in your life, these are your passions. These are the stepping stones to lay out for others who travel the same road. Let your voice be heard. Let your light shine. Tell people they are not alone. You have been there and done that. Wear your superhero cape with pride! You are no longer Clark Kent. You are SUPERMAN!

Superman, DC Comics

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Battles Begin in the Mind

Galatians 5

Galatians 5:1 So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.

Every battle begins in the mind, at least that is what I have been told every time a New Year comes around and the infamous resolutions come out. Actually, I don’t care if it is a new year, new month, new job, new relationship or new whatever! I tend to have the same idea. This is a fresh start and I won’t let blah blah blah happen again!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all for fresh starts and beginning again. I mean that is what grace is all about. What I need to remember is to not let my new goals enslave me. I must find a way to keep balance in my life without chaining myself down. The minute I chain myself down I will break my “rule” and then I will hate myself and get frustrated and just walk away from it completely. That will get me nowhere!

Religion can sometimes get that way also. We get caught up in all the “rules” of the church and forget God set us free from the pomp and circumstance when He sent Jesus to die for us. We don’t practice all the old rituals. They are not what the new covenant is all about. The new covenant is about two simple things, love God and love others. Do those two things and everything else will fall into place.

If WE, as what my pastor husband likes to refer to as the Big C- Church, remember those two simple things, we will find it much easier to commune with the lost. If WE can concentrate on love and not let things like the way a person dresses, speaks, what he eats or drinks, smokes, the way acts, or who he is involved with, get in the way WE can show them what Christ was really about.

If WE can just love our neighbors, we will win the battle in our minds and truly be set free.

Copyright © 2019 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

He’s Got Your Back Even in the Dark

Psalms 39

Psalms 139: 5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

When depression takes over, you can feel like you are engulfed in the darkness. No one can see you. Life just seems to go on around you and no one cares.

I can promise you someone does see you and someone does cares.

God is always there. He always sees you and he always cares even when we don’t see him or feel him. He has our six. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me (Psalms 139:5).

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You (Psalms 139:7-12).

Even in the depths of the pit that surrounds you, God can see you bright as day. He has his eye on you. You are not alone. Call out for him. Let your voice be heard. He will see you through.

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Yet I Will Rejoice

Habakkuk 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior.

When depression, anxiety, and PTSD hit, they take me down, down deep into the pit. I feel like I am drug swiftly and hard. I grab for anything around to hold on to, but it breaks within my grasp. I can see I am losing touch with reality, but I cannot stop it.

The weight is heavy on my heart and mind. The darkness surrounds and swallows me up. It is too late. No turning back now. I must survive.

How long will it last?
How deep will I go?
Will I find my way back?
Am I lost forever this time?

I don’t know. I need to focus on surviving this moment.
I need to laugh. I need to smile. I need to fight back.

I’m too tired. It hurts. I have nothing left in me.

Then, I hear it, a small distant voice. I am not sure if I am imagining it. It is so faint. “Let Go. Let me hold you.”

Soon, I catch a glimpse of a very faint light. A flicker. It takes all my remaining strength to focus on this beautiful sound and light. I fight the urge to turn away. Then I let go. I don’t fight. I just sit and wait.

A familiar peace starts warming my soul. The light brightens. The voice gets louder. It soon repeats in my heart, “yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior” (Habakkuk 3:18).

My lips tremble at first. My voice is silent. No air passes my vocal cords, not even a squeak. I am being choked and cannot scream out for help.

I press on with determination from deep within. “Let your voice be heard” starts pounding now, in my head. LET! YOUR! VOICE! BE! HEARD!

My lips part. They begin to move, “yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior.” Again! AGAIN! A-G-A-I-N!

My voice is now booming. The darkness struggles to hold on. It loses its grip. It scrambles and tightens its talons, but I slip through.

My strength returns. I stand up tall and straight. The light around me is so bright. The voice is loud and harsh and together we dispel the darkness.

I AM FREE!

             Black Canary Cry ~DC Comics

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

Battle in the Pit

Psalm 77 

 Psalms 77:12 (NIV) I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.

Those of us with mental illness do not have a corner on the market on anxiety and depression. As a matter of fact, recent studies say 1 in 10 Americans have suffered from depression in the last year. We all battle with sadness and fears and we all end up in the pit sometimes. You are not alone!

So where do we turn when out trust in God seems to waiver? When answers don’t come immediately, and God seems so far away? What should we do when rescue doesn’t come, and we begin to slip back into “Why Me?” We begin to doubt God loves us and cares for us. We feel as if God is rejecting us. Does God even love me anymore? Will God never again come to my rescue and bring me peace?

Asaph faced the same questions in Psalm 77. He found himself crying out to God for help when he was in distress. He talks of being anxious and not finding comfort. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t find the words to express what was going on (verses 1-4). He followed all the teachings we have heard such as Philippians 4:6, “do not be anxious…by prayer and petition… present your requests” and “Humble yourselves… cast all your anxiety on him” (1 Peter 5:6 & 7) and yet no relief comes.

Then we hit rock bottom (verses 7-9). The pit begins to close in on us and we start wondering if God has forgotten about us. In just a few chapters over in chapter 88, Asaph describes this time as being “counted among those who go down to the pit” (vs. 4) and “put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths” (vs 6). Just when it feels there is no way any light will ever penetrate our soul again; a thought comes to mind. Do you remember when…?

Do you remember the time you were running late, you had to park at a meter only to find you had no change, but by the grace of God, the meter still had an hour left on it? Or the time, you pumped your gas and ran in to pay when you realize you forgot your money, and someone offered to pay? What about the time you felt so alone and down on yourself and someone smiled and told you how lovely your outfit was today? These are God winks! These are weapons to defeat the enemy.

When we step back and take a moment to remember all of the things God has brought into our lives, all the times he has saved us, we take our eyes off the problem. We are reminded just how great our God is (Psalm 77:13). We revel in his display of power among our lives (vs 14).

No, peace may not come right away. Our answer may still be on the horizon. We may have to wait it out in the pit for just a little while longer, but now we have a weapon to battle with while we are there. We have something to hang on to. We have hope because of all the great things God has done in the past. We have hope that he will restore us once again and make his face shine on us that we may be saved again (Psalm 80:7).

 Prayer:  Thank You, Father, for all the miracles you have brought into our lives. Thank you for hearing our cries and prayers from the pit and being right there with us. Help us to always remember just how much you love us and are there for us. Bring to our memories Your manly faithful acts in the past, so we can take our eyes off the current problem and put them where they belong, on You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Your Turn: 

Choose your weapon! What event from your past will you choose for encouragement, to battle in the pit? Share your comments below. You never know, your story might be the one to save someone else.

Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.