Joshua 1:9 NIV
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Something going wrong is not a failure. Not trying again is a failure!
This is not easy for me to admit, but last semester I did not pass my cumulative exam for my doctorate degree. I had three weeks to write two papers and both of my papers fell short. I must pass this exam to go on to my dissertation. Once I pass it, I will have achieved my doctorate all but dissertation. I was so frustrated and upset; I did not retake the exam until this semester. I had failed!
Or so I thought.
I had that option of retaking it last semester, but I couldn’t. I needed to put some time and space between me and those papers. I needed a break. Mind you, I finished my Bachelor’s degree waited two years started my Master’s and then went directly to my Doctorate right after that. I have not had a break from classes in almost six years. I was burnt out and the added frustration of not passing just sent me into a tailspin.
During this break, I have tried my best to not think about my “failure”. However, this past week has had me sweating bullets again. What if I fail again? What if I never pass it? I was so sure I was going to be a failure.
Today was fresh and new. I opened the exam and took a new look at the papers I had written. Things were a little clearer and the comments from last semester actually made sense now. However, I still felt like a failure and was not so sure I could do any better this time.
Then two friends stepped up to pass on some advice.
One went to the bible and brought out the verse above. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” What I gleaned from that verse was quit being a fraidy cat and get to work on those papers.
Pass or pass not, God will be with me. Tomorrow will come. The sun will rise. Life will go on.
My other friend proceeded to tell me you only fail when you quit trying. I am not a failure.
I did not fail my exam. Yes, I did not pass. The papers were lacking. What I did not see was all the things I did right on the papers. I had lots of great comments. The professors said it was obvious I was knowledgable about the subject. I had great ideas. One of the papers, I just needed to add more and put more of me and my analysis into it, not just the facts. The other paper, I need to connect my data to my recommendation. They were both awesome, I just needed to connect them better.
Today, I am going to choose to be strong and courageous and carry on. I am not a failure. I have not given up trying. I just figured out how not to pass. Now it is time to find what works!
Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.
You’re a ROCK STAR!!